“I’m a generally healthy person, which is why when the doctor told me I had a cancer I immediately told him it couldn’t be true. None of my family and friends that I know of have cancer, why me?”
I have yet to shake the face and the words of that patient out of my mind. I’ve seen these tall hospital buildings every single day for the past six weeks; in my head I know of what is inside. I knew of a wonderful woman who died of cancer and I’ve seen her in the condition she was in shortly before she passed. It should feel "normal"--however that feels--when I stepped inside Designated hospital for the first time last Tuesday, yet I found it overwhelming to see rooms with a post-op hysterectomy patient or end stage kidney disease patient who has 20 medications. Then I remember about the children’s hospital next door where little persons suffer too and it doesn’t get any more real than this.
Three months ago I watched a glimpse of a surgery on Discovery Health Channel—and Grey’s Anatomy, but soon enough I’ll be in the Operating Room witnessing a surgical procedure in person. Holly coolness Batman! That was my first reaction, but then I started worrying about fainting during a surgery, thus making a doofus out of myself. Then I thought about how my patients for the next 7 weeks aren’t people with a regular fever or a stomach ache or a broken leg, I’m not going to be in a doctor’s office taking vital signs and asking health history questions.
My patients for the next 7 weeks are people who recently have a part of their organ—or a whole organ—surgically removed due to aggressive and/or terminal diseases, and on top of taking vital signs, I may be putting in a Foley catheter or NG tube, hang an IV solutions, help them change positions on their beds, administer—and knowing—their medications and injections, recording their intake and output, and whatever it is that a first year nursing students are allowed to do—which is not a lot, but hey, you gotta start somewhere, right?
This is it, the grave diseases and disorders I’ve only known from books and TV’s are right in front of my eyes. I can see and hear them in the patients and their charts. I may be a student nurse, but the word ‘nurse’ is there nonetheless and I pray that I’ll be a great one at that. I pray that I’m sensitive to their needs, that I’m thorough and careful in my assessment, that I know how to conduct myself, that I’m pro-active, that I think fast and critically, that I am not afraid. Most importantly, I pray that I remember they’re still a person and treat them likewise.
As my friend, A, said with painful enthusiasm, “We’re gonna be damn good nurses!”
Amen, sistah, amen!
Ok, back to studying and stop using writing as an excuse for procrastinating.
Dang, that’s to many –ing’s right there…..
OK.
must.stop.writing.now.
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