Relief.

I passed the head to toe check off, huzzaaaahh!!!

Our group started at 1 pm and I was the last person to go. Waiting, he is not my friend, not at all. The group met at 12 to prepare our presentation on Monday and we were very calm and collected, that is until our instructor stepped into the room to chat for a bit then left to get the exam room ready, then it hit us that "Holy crap this is it!" and the stomach started doing flip flop and gah! *diesdead*

But we all did well and passed, phew. A few fumbles here and there and definitely some laughable moments between my lab partner and I, but it was all in good fun. What made my day the most was the first thing my instructor said to me on my evaluation, "You need to be a Nurse Practitioner, you got it. You're that good, one of the best I've ever had." If that didn't send me over the moon, I don't know what would. I was so dumbfounded, I only managed a meek "Really?"

At the end of the semester like this, when I'm already too tired to get my lazy butt up to gear up for finals and goshdarnit I want this to be over and dammit I want my Christmas break now, a comment like that truly made my day, if not my whole semester. I was looking forward for something from my clinical evaluation, but my CI gave generic scores on everyone's evaluation sheet and only briefly touched down on our individual performance.

However, today I got what I was looking for. The affirmation that yes, I am doing something right, and not only on tests, but on skills; that yes, after months of that self esteem shooting low
due to um, not knowing what the heck am I doing because I'm a first year, I am actually capable of doing this. All I needed was that evaluation and encouragement she gave, and I knew I could do this again next semester.

Oh, and a bunch of us went out to celebrate our head to toe passing tonight. Hmm, margaritas and sushi are yummy. :D

Chaotic.

I don't think I ever feel this exhausted in my life, not even after the debacle that is the flight delays that got my stranded overnight at Chicago's O'Hare airport en route to New York this summer (finally touched down at La Guardia 30 hours after I left home). I don't think I will fully recover from this Thanksgiving trip until Christmas break. The trip was great, but the trip home was a 12 hours bus ride. No fun.

Then today I found out that instead of going for head to toe next Thursday, I'm going this Thursday. Part of me is glad because then I can get it over and start studying for finals in peace, plus I already got 70% of it down in practice and just need to go over musculoskeletal, then I'll be good to go. But part of me is going berserk because OHMYFREAKENGODHEADTOTOEISTHIS THURSDAY!!! *kaplunks*

Tomorrow will be chaos chaos chaos.... And it will continue to be so because after head to toe, there are group presentations, finals, and portfolio.

I'm gonna make it to Christmas break alive. I'm gonna make it to Christmas break alive. I'm gonna make it to Christmas break alive.....

Gobble Gobble

I'm done with the last exams before finals start, in which I got 96 on Concepts, 90 on Pharmacology, 85 on Assessment. Mwaahahhaa....

Thanksgiving break is finally here, but heh, I'm not really excited because Thanksgiving break = practicing for head to toe check off = NO FUN! Plus, I'm going on a church trip--a 12 hour bus trip. Needless to say, I'm bringing my Assessment book, stethoscope, reflex hammer, pen light, and what have you with me, and you bet your bottom dollar I'd be practicing on my roommate any chance I get a break. The poor thing....

Oh, so on Sunday whilst at the neighborhood Starbucks (studying of course), the barista said a completely different thing than the medical center Starbucks barista. This one said, "I love your outfit, it's very Audrey Hepburn!" Hah! Them non medical center baristas are so sheltered from the world of sleep deprived and stressed out health related students....

Today, I woke up at 10:20 am. 10:20! That's the latest I've slept in for in like 6 months, though after waking up at 4 am the last 7 Tuesdays, I was frantic when I saw 10:20 on the clock.

First, I thought "WTH?! Why am I not at the hospital?!"
Second, I thought my CI is going to kill me.
Third, I thought it's going to take at least 10 minutes trying to locate my scrubs amidst the pile of clothes on in my room.
Fourth, I thought, "Oh, wait a minute...."
Fifth, I thought "Dammit, I could've studied more head to toe had I woken up earlier!!!"

Gah, my head is so screwed. There is nothing up there beside school, hospital, and studying. My bestfriend informed me this weekend that she got stressed just by watching me study. Meanwhile, my other bestfriend, who is studying to be a Physician Assistant, studied with me while she was in town visiting during her in-between-rotation break. I guess I'm not alone in the world of nerdyness....

Anyway, I have to start packing for the trip. I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving, eat aplenty and be safe!

It is finished.

I am done with clinicals, huzzah!!! I can't believe that next Tuesday I no longer have to wake up at an ungodly hour of the morning. So long Med/Surg floor! We had a little celebration today at post conference. CI brought us lunch and we got him a cookie cake since it's his birthday this weekend. 'Twas lovely.

Clinical has been a great learning experience and my first CI has been nothing but helpful and encouraging. I'm satisfied with the evaluation he gave today, there are areas to improve of course, like not being shy to talk to the patients to build a better rapport and taking more initiatives with the charge nurses, but CI said I'll improve in time. Out of the good feedback he gave, I'm most happy that he said I relate theory to practice, adapt readily to changes, and seek learning opportunities, meaning I'm proactive, yay!

On this last day, I was not on the floor actually. I was in the OR observing a laparoscopic Roux en Y Gastric Bypass, which was interesting. Surgery and I have a love/hate relationship. On one hand I love watching procedures and I kinda sorta wanna be a scrub nurse. Only kinda sorta though, because on the other hand I hate the standing and the cold temperature and the lack of patient-nurse interaction. Yes, there is that doctor-nurse interaction and it could be a fun and laid-back one like today, but I know that's not always the case. Let's face it, a jerkhead surgeon will most likely curse you out if God forbid you're 3 seconds late handing him the ten blade. So for now, surgery is not in the cards for me. Every once in a while, I'll get a shadowing opportunity for the OR experience, but as far as career field go....*throws it out the window*

Oh, the Pharm test this evening? Yeah, the respiratory drugs killed me. I did great on the other parts, but respiratory...bah! I knew the drugs and the classes they're in, but I choked on their mechanisms. I knew Beclovert is a corticosteroid, but I went blank on the fact that it reduces inflammation. How the heck did that blanking happen??!! Ugh, I hate the way my mind works sometimes....

In the meanwhile, I have 1 test, 1 head to toe check off, and 3 finals to go before the semester is over and I can catch up on sleep and cleaning the room. The room...oh the room...it looks like my closet flew in there and exploded in the middle of it. Tres messy....

'Tis me

Besides the typical I love family, friends, dog, God, blah blah blah....

Loves her life.
Makes it a mission to make it better and successful and content.
Pushes herself to step out of her comfort zone.

Finds writing therapeutic.
Wishes she has time to write more.
Wishes she has skill (and the aforementioned time) to write a book.
Cannot type correctly to save her life.
Spell check is her hero.

Completely in love with children.
Makes it a mission to work with children someday.
Wants to be a Peds nurse or NICU nurse.
Would like to adopt, regardless of my biological capability.

Has learned she can live without a lot of things.
Has learned she can do a lot of things.
Has learned she can be a lot of things.
Has continued to find who she is and who she is not.
Has gone 3 months without shopping.
Has grown to love cupcakes.

Loves to travel.
Makes it a mission to travel at least once a year.
Makes it a mission to go on a mission trip more than once.

Loves talking to her patients.
Loves listening to her patients.
Wishes she has more skill to strike a good conversation with new people.

Completely in love with books.
Wishes she has more time to read.

Completely in love with Broadway.
Makes it a mission to see at least one show a year.

Does not particularly like the club scene.
But enjoys an occasional drinks or glass of wine.

Loves to learn.
Loves to laugh.
Loves a deep talk with friends.

Hates traffic.
Hates rudeness.
Hates indecisiveness.
Hates boredom.

Is fascinated by the world of medicine.
Treasures pictures.
Finds beauty in little things.
Appreciates quiet time.

Thinks ignorance is for chumps.

Likes challenge and busyness.
Cannot live without music.
Knows a comfortable silence in a company of friends is good.
Easily amused.

Still cannot believe she got a 94 on that Concept test last week.
Is anxious about Pharmacology test on Tuesday.
Cannot believe clinical is almost over.

Thinks it's time to go to bed.

Is it that obvious?

Starbucks, 6:45 this morning.

Barista: "Hey, how are ya doin' this morning."

Me: "Okay." (considering I spent the past week studying for today's Concepts test)

Barista: "Hangin' in there?"

Me: "Yeah...test this morning."

Barista: "Aaaaahhhhh.... (in that no-wonder-she-looks-so-haggard tone) Need your caffeine, huh?"

Me: "Mmm hmm....."

Barista: "Good luck!"

Me: "Thanks."

I guess it's either the barista is really perceptive or I wear the tired and stressed out nursing student face really well. The dark circles under the eyes gave it away methinks.

And it should be illegal to be that chipper that early in the morning....