Like a Scene from a Horror Movie.

Last night, I was thisclose to screaming when I opened the dirty equipment room (it's basically where we store used equiptment such is IV pumps and walkers and what have you before they're picked up by the hospital central supply) at my unit. In the middle of the night. I was honest to goodness surprised...and scared.

As a line from a Bones episode says, "He screams like a slutty girl number one in a teen horror movie."

Except, I would very like to point out, I am not slutty. Nor am I a teen. Nor did I scream (almost though).

Gah.

Not good for my heart.

The story goes that I received a few STAT orders for a patient who had just been transferred from the MICU last night. The patient already had an IV pump with 3 channels and 2 drips running, but I needed 1 more channel for the 4th drip that was being ordered. So, I ordered one from CS (central supply) and also asked around if anyone in the unit had an extra channel, because I knew it was going to take a while before I'd actually get mine from CS.

Alas, no one had extra. So then I reverted to the dirty equipment room, armed with the wipes we use to sanitize all things dirty. It wasn't actually a room, more like a closet. As I opened the door, my eyes looked down, as that's where used IV pumps usually sit. And this play by play happened in a matter of two seconds.

Lo and behold...

I saw feet...

Then I saw hospital gown...

Then it registered to me that someone--who has feet--was sitting in the closet.

"What the flippin' hell?!?!?!?!"

My eyes shot further up as I thought, "What psycho patient we have in this unit sitting in the closet in the middle night?!?!?!?!!"

And I saw a face...

"Holy s***!!!!!!"

Dead face....

*heart jumped and raced*

Staring back at me...

Reflex told me to scream, but it got caught in my throat when I soon realized that it was a dummy, not a PERSON, that was sitting on a chair in that closet.

Again, "What the flippin' hell?!?!?!?"

What in the name of all things bizarre does a DUMMY doing inside a closet of a medical unit?!?! A dummy belong in the lab, in nursing school's lab or the hospital's lab where we practice code blue and do simulations. What is a dummy doing there?!?! And here I thought this unit had just turned into a psych ward, especially with the influx of crazy patients lately (which I'm still working on writing about).

Oh man, I was so flabbergasted it's not even funny.

Needless to say, there was no IV pump nor channel over there.

There was, however, a dummy's arm on the floor.

And I'm very thankful that dummy wasn't holding a plastic knife in its hand.

Gah.