The one with the poo.

Okay, I get it. I get why parents can be obsessed with their baby's poops.

I spent today's clinical at the newborn nursery, and having changed many poopy diapers, all I want to tell my friends now is the many kind of poops I saw. I mean, did you know that a cutie patootie baby can generate a poop of gross epic proportion?! And it that color?! And in that form?!! And that often?! Who would've thunk it?!

I also believe my kidlet invented a new game called "Oops, I did it again!", in which I change the dirty diaper, turn around for a second to dump it in the trash, only to find upon return that the kidlet has pooped--again--and peed--again. Anyway, today was a good one--a really good one--aside from how many times my baby pooped.

Oh, one more thing, counting newborn's heart rate is another story. It sounds easy when they say "You count for 6 seconds then times 1o", not so easy when heart rate goes 123456789101112131415 in 6 seconds.... I think I lost track and had to redo it several times before getting it right. Oh, and I gave erythromycin eye ointment and vitamin K shot. Yay!

And by now I am also tone deaf to newborn cries....

Different.

I just made my first C of the semester and I'm not even feeling bummed. Usually, I'd be disappointed, today I'm like...blah, whatever.

This is very weird.

First, I didn't care about studying (I made a high B on that test luckily) and now I don't care that I got a C?! Something is wrong. I don't quite like this new "I don't care" mode. It unnerves me.

The day in the life.

What a nursing student does in her rare day off:


I cleaned my room.

I pulled out my cousin's unused desk from the garage, went to Target to get me some cheap bookcase, put away the piles of clothes on my bed and on the bathroom floor, and pretty much get things off the floor.

All of those was long over due and the result is a far cry from this picture I posted a few posts back. Although, give me two weeks--or a month top--and I will have clothes and books littered on the floor. And another month will go by before I get a chance to tidy up again.

Just another part of being a nursing student who always runs out of time....

The fruit of my all-nighter.

I like it when my hardwork paid off. Like today.

I stayed up Monday night to work on the drugs for the care plan due on Wednesday. I talked about how tough this CI is a few posts back, and she wanted the care plan to have certain things. By certain, I mean very specific. She wants our reasoning on why the lab values are abnormal and what should we do, and the drugs needs--beside the name/action/why given to patient/dose/frequency/route/side effects/nursing implications info--to be calculated (calculating IV drip rate is a pain in the ass btw) and compared against the safe dosage range, and whether or not it's safe. Blah blah blah, the whole nine yard.

It sounds easy when CI was explaining it, like, oh well, all that is expected in a care plan anyway, but when your patient has 20 something drugs? I was ready to jump off a cliff.

But I worked my butt off Monday night. I did everything I could think of as I rather go overboard then having CI finds it unsatisfactory. So I had no sleep on Monday, got ready for school at 5 and off to the bus park and ride I went. I had class at 8 Tuesday morning, and survived the next 3 hours lecture on a can of Monster energy drink, my new life saver.

Then I have to go pick up my patient for clinical Wednesday morning. Then I have to do the drugs AGAIN for the new patient. Then I have to study my new patient's condition and plan patient's care, because I told myself I am not going to be unprepared like last week. I finally went to bed at 10:30 beyond exhausted.

I got to the hospital at 6:40 this morning, ready to go, only to find out my patient is being discharge at 11 am. Great, so I had to find a new patient and got myself oriented with them. CI was nice today though, she was in a good mood.

Anyway, at post conference today, we discussed the care plan thing since this was our first one and CI wasn't exactly satisfied at some that she saw. I was so nervous when she was looking though all of our care plans to see if there was any that was up to her standard. Then she picked mine. I recognize it before she even said it was mine, and I just wanted to melt to the ground. I thought goodess, here comes another grilling.

But then she said something to my group about not beating me up after this because she was about to give my care plan a gold medal. Heck, at that time I don't even care if my group shoves me into the bathroom stall after this, I was just RELIEVED she didn't make me do it over!

So I did wonderful on the care plan, CI is very satisfied with it. I had a good clinical day, in which I made it out unscathed. I have no OB clinical tomorrow because CI is out on a conference.

And all of this means, I CAN HAVE EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP TONIGHT!!!!! HUUZZZAAAAHH!!!

Unmotivated.

Ugh, this lazy spell has got to go!!!

I have a big Acute test tomorrow and what have I done so far? Not much. I've been "studying" if I could say. I've only studied the notes and have a complete disinterest in the textbook (have only started to open it only to stare at it). The amount of time I've spent procrastinating is also amazingly plentiful.

And the thing that worried me the most is not the test tomorrow. It is that I feel like I could care less about it. It's worth 30%, it's the first test, it covers a LOT of materials, I should be FREAKING OUT by now! And I'm not. I'm lazily flipping through the book like...whatever.

What is wrong with me??!!! Bah, I don't like this. This is so not me. Yet, I have no motivation whatsoever to do anything differently.

I am doomed.

The one with the job interview.

I did it.

I calmed myself down and said a little prayer before I called in at 11 am, waited a century to be connected to the recruiter, answered the questions the best my mind could think at that moment, and I did it.

Last night, I wrote down possible questions that the recruiter might ask and what I want to say. Today, only two of those were asked. The rest, I had to think quick to come up with the answers. I'd like to think I did pretty good, and I'm trying not to replay it in my mind and think about what I could've or should have said because that is just useless.

I will get the notice of whether I get accepted or not in mid-March. That is a long time for waiting, but that's the way it goes. So, we'll see.

Today, I received news that I will have a phone interview with a big magnet hospital in another state for an internship spot over the summer.

SO. FREAKING. NERVOUS.

Out of all the hospitals I applied for, this is the one I wanted the most. I was told that I am 1 of the 30 applicants (out of how many, I don't know) picked to be interviewed, and then half of that will get the spot. So I am a step or two away from getting it. Just need to do fabulous on the phone interview tomorrow.

SO. FREAKING. NERVOUS.

This is my first "real" interview. None of that campus bookstore, dining, registrar office, or whatever kind of interview. I want it so badly that I immediately called someone I knew has had a lot of experiences in being interviewed to get pointers, and tonight I sure am going to write down the possible questions and how I'm going to answer them.

SO. FREAKING. NERVOUS.

I wish my bestfriend is here to calm me down because I am

SO. FREAKING. NERVOUS.

Say what?!

Maybe I really am naive in thinking there is good in all people. I hear stories about doctors being rude, arrogant, and unappreciative to nurses--well, to anyone in general--but I've always thought "Really? Would people really get all high and mighty like that?" Not that I don't believe there are people like that, it's more like "I can't imagine why or how someone will act like that."

Then I met face to face with that kind of doctor today.

We were at the hospital's OB clinic this morning. There were several exam rooms and each doctor was assigned with a med student and, eventually, a nursing student. The doc I was assigned to seemed okay with it before we went in, even told me and the med student we could learn together. So, med student and I took turn with patient assessment while doc looking up info on the computer, and it was a normal regular visit.

But once the patient is out of the room, doc stormed out of the door to the nurses station announcing "I don't want a nursing student with me, I'm a doctor! Nursing students need to be with the nurses!" Then she went into a nearby room to find someone and just made the same announcement she just made to everyone that was in the area, where the nurses, staff, and patients were present.

As you can imagine, the nurses were not happy. They "saved" me from the wrath of that doc, immediately finding me another exam room I could be in, and apologizing for the doc's behavior, saying "They're just being their typical self, they know it's a teaching hospital but they just got big headed." Apparently said doctor was infamous for their attitude because the nurses have dealt with that doctor in the past but today was the last straw when they blatantly rejected to teach a student. Needless to say, that doc's boos is going to know something today.

I was put with the OB Nurse Practitioner afterward, and within ten minutes my friend came in with the same reason as me. Apparently, that doc went to her other assigned exam room, where my friend, a resident, and a med student had seen a patient. Doc came with "Is there a nursing student here?!" to which my friend replied "I am." Then doc said "Nursing students can't be with the rest of the doctors. Nursing students need to be with the rest of the nurses."

What the hell is that doctor problem?!

Look, I know normally in other clinical setting, the med students follow the doctors and the nursing students follow the nurses, but this is an OB clinic. An OB nurse practitioner more or less does the same thing an OB doctor would do during a regular OB visit, unless a more serious complication arises then the nurse practitioner would refer the patient to a doctor. The med students are learning more or less the same thing the nursing students are doing: getting history out of the patient, fundal height, fetal heart rate (the difference is that the med students get to do a vaginal exam whereas I won't without my instructor's being there with me). For that reason, the nursing students are assigned to be in the room with the OB doc, med student, and the patient.

Having said this, I know not all doctors are asshats, just like not all nurses are heaven sent. There are asshats nurses too, I'm not going to pretend my profession is the better one here. But as for today, this is what happened to me. I was fine about it afterward, sure I was taken aback by the attitude, but I felt more for the nurses on that floor because this doctor just pissed off every nurse there with their inconsiderate comments.

Now when people are talking about asshat doctors, I can say "Yeah, it happened to me once" instead of "Yeah, I heard about that."

Game plan.

Upon meeting the acute CI last week, my group and I thought "Holy intense Batman!" So I prepared the best I could last night for clinical this morning, but I've got news for ya. No matter how much you think you're prepared, first day is still first day, meaning you don't know what to expect and you're clueless. You know zip! Ok, I lied, I knew one thing: we were going to get grilled, I just didn't know to what extend. Well, let it be known that we got grilled very very well done today, some of us were even burnt. I was the first one to be put through the ringer. My God, I've never felt that stupid before.

I've never had someone pushed me to my limits like this before, I've never had someone made me think constantly about how my patient's doing and what I'm doing to them and why I'm doing it to them like this before, I never had to prove myself until this. Goodness gracious, this is something else. Now I know we need to be of top of our game at all time. Cover your ass is fast becoming my group motto.

There is a reason why some hospitals are magnet and some aren't. The hospital we're at is none of the county general hospital. It's huge, it's a magnet hospital, and it's got reputation to live up to. The difference between this and the hospital for my OB clinical, which is not of this caliber, is mindbogglingly obvious. So I get it. I get why my CI is very strict about us truly knowing whatever it is that we're doing--or lack of doing of things we're supposed to, to protect us and to protect the patients. Heck, if CI feels we need to know what patient's BM smells like, you better bet our noses would be near that toilet. (This, of course, is an exaggeration, I really really hope no good smelling sense will be assaulted this semester).

Said CI works us to our worth, it is exhausting and involving all feelings reminiscent of the Spanish inquisition. It's going to be one hell of a clinical, one where we're whipped to greatness. It's a lot of work, it's nervewracking, and dammit I sure am going to bitch my way through this, because it's uncomfortable and unpleasant to be under this kind of supervision. But I'll deal. I'll survive. I'm liking the challenge. I want to learn to be a great nurse. I'd like to see how far I can be pushed and how far I can grow.

And how long it's going to take me to do care plans for this. They are as hellish as the clinical itself.

Damn. There goes my life....

Unstructured.

I moved back from the Aunt's house to the Grands' house (they're like 2 blocks away) just before New Year. Two months later, my room still looks like this:

Obviously, I need a new desk and shelf....

Structured.

I used to go through my days without a single to do list. "Used to" being the keywords and "my days" mean pre-nursing school.

Now...well, let the picture tells the story:


Notice on one of them I put "EAT" as a reminder of something I need to do in between these things. I can't function without making at least one list per day, I'd get so paranoid I'd forget something.

'Tis just another way I've adapted to my life as a nursing student.

Westernized

So I spent Chinese New Year at the OB Triage and had the hospital cafetaria's burger and chips as dinner.

I win the most pathetic Chinese New Year ever. I want me some Chinese food....

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Happy Chinese New Year! Whee!

I love this holiday as a kid, back when we were still in our country. We would drive to my grandparents house, so do my uncles, aunts, and cousins, and we'd have a blast at the Grands'. We'd get there and the kids made their round of greeting to the adults, "Gong Xi Fa Cai, Qoong-Qoong, Gong Xi Fa Cai, Poh-Poh, Gong Xi Fa Cai Sook-Sook, Gong Xi Fa Cai, Sook-Mei," and so on and so on, all the while collecting the red Hong Bao they'd give us. There would be fabulously delicious food that Poh-Poh (Chinese for grandma) has cooked, and we'd fill our stomachs until we couldn't move.

Then relatives would come and the kids once again would make their round of greeting, this time we had to be reminded of all the Chinese titles we had to call them by. Afterward, the adults would mingle around the table, while the kids (my cousins and I) would go into the guest bedroom and count the money from all of the Hong Bao's we'd received. We'd play games, dream about what we're going to do/buy with the money, tell stories, laugh, and eat some more.

It was amazing.

Now, most of my cousins (and myself) live here with our grandparents. We'd still greet them, but there is no more Hong Bao, we're grown up now. There would be a dinner, but this year I'm going to miss it. Why?

Because my OB clinical is from 3pm to 11 pm. *headdesks*

Nevertheless, happy new year to you, may you be successful and prosperous.

Gimme Gimme.

You know why I love Career Day at school?

FREE PENS!

Psshhh, forget the hospitals I'm trying to network with, I have my eyes on the freebies.

What? I'm just a student trying to minimize my cost of education here. If I learn anything from school so far, it's the cost-effective practice.

I really do love me some free pens....

Mixed feelings.

I have this love/hate relationship with Maternal-Newborn.

That is all.