Passed.

I'd like to write more about this HESI after math, alas I'm bombarded with clinicals and studying (yes, already) for Monday's exam this week, so this will do.

I PASSED THE HESI!!!! A score of 850 is needed to pass, and I scored a 1000.6, which means I have a very good chance of passing the NCLEX! Huzzah!

All the glory goes back to God, I know I couldn't have done that well without His miracle. The whole 3.5 hours that it took me to finish those 160 questions, I was tachycardic, having cold sweats, nauseated, jittery, and on my way to hyperventilate. I had to constantly remind myself to breathe and focus, breathe and focus, breathe and focus. I remembered having a hard time to slow down in reading the questions after I returned from bathroom break, I had to mentally slap myself to stop rushing. It was the worst 3.5 hours of my life.

And when the screen revealed the score, I couldn't believe it. My instructor came over and patted me on the back, congratulating and telling me I had done wonderful, while I sat there slack-jawed. It was a relief I cannot describe.

Afterward, my friends and I went to lunch and had a couple of drinks, then joined another group at another bar, before finally settling at this cozy little bar, where out instructors also came out to celebrate with us. I have to say we have some of the most amazing instructors, who not have been nothing but supportive and helpful throughout our (almost) two years.

My thoughts and prayers are with my friends who didn't pass. It's hard to celebrate when your heart is saddened for them. Their second chance is within a month and I have faith that they will make it. I pray God grants them the wisdom He granted me this past Monday. I want nothing more than to walk in graduation ceremony in May with them.

HESI is over, a weight has been lifted. However, I'm still heavily busied with exams, group projects, papers, and clinicals. I cannot believe that it's only 6 more weeks until I finish nursing school. I long for the day when I can officially add "RN" behind my name.

Made.

Today was Psych exam #2, aka judgment day of some sort because I failed the first one miserably so I needed to make at least 75 on this one and at least a 75 on the Final to make that passing grade of 72 at the end of the semester. So this exam is a make or break for me, if I make below 75, the chance of me passing is slimmer than if I make above. I hated Psych with passion, and the instructors elicit the same sentiment out of me. It's just not my forte, I always feel like I'm in rut with this class. I know I'm not the only one feeling like this, the whole class does too.

The past few days have been a pressure cooker for me. I've studied and studied, practiced questions on the NCLEX book, doubted myself more than I can count, and it was just so draining. This morning anxiety was in overdrive, I kept reminding myself to calm down, trying not to hyperventilate. When I got to school, all the faces I saw were those of nervousness. It was just not a pretty sight at all.

We had a review right after the exam, and let me tell you, test review in this Psych is like a an outlet for that pent up anger. We're all frustrated and the instructors are just not helping, and yeah, it can get pretty hostile in there. Again, not a pretty sight.

But I made it. I passed, with an 84!!!! I was beyond relieved. I believed my faith played a part in that. I've also been praying for the past few days, so have my friends and family, and we believe prayers do work. I'm a testament for that today. I can't explain it electronically here, I can't describe how tricky the questions can be, how hard the instructors are on us. 84 might sound like a no big deal for some, but when you made a 66 on the first exam, 84 is a big deal. So. relieved.

Now, it's time to hit the book for another test next week. Ah, the life of a nursing student.

Happy voting, everyone! I'm not a citizen or permanent resident, so I can't vote. I wish I could....

Hollywood.

Last semester I made a brief mentioned of my instructors who are a Stanley Tucci lookalike, a Colonel Sanders lookalike, and a Kimmie Gibbler lookalike. Well, since then I have also noticed a Santa Claus lookalike (the similarity is unbearable when he showed up wearing a red shirt in December) and a Nancy Kerrigan lookalike.

So far this semester, there is a Cameron Diaz lookalike (though she would be an older version of the actress) and a Julie Andrew lookalike. The Julie Andrew lookalike is the best ever because not only the hair is the same but also the mannerism, soft spoken with that calming grandma-ish quality. And get this, the lookalike sings too!

But the one that I get the most kick out of is one of my CI's. She's not alike in the look department per se, but her mannerism strikingly resembles Dr. Erica Hahn from Grey's Anatomy. She talks exactly like Dr. Hahn, exact same tone and dictation, it was uncanny. Of course, we're more or less scared shitless, just because we know she's not one to mess with. 3 care plans per patient? Yes, Mam. No injection without you? Yes, Mam. Don't call when you're getting your Starbucks? Yes, Mam. You said we're gonna have fun this semester? Yes, Mam *inserts self doubt here*.

Now if only I can find a McSteamy lookalike....

Relief.

I passed the head to toe check off, huzzaaaahh!!!

Our group started at 1 pm and I was the last person to go. Waiting, he is not my friend, not at all. The group met at 12 to prepare our presentation on Monday and we were very calm and collected, that is until our instructor stepped into the room to chat for a bit then left to get the exam room ready, then it hit us that "Holy crap this is it!" and the stomach started doing flip flop and gah! *diesdead*

But we all did well and passed, phew. A few fumbles here and there and definitely some laughable moments between my lab partner and I, but it was all in good fun. What made my day the most was the first thing my instructor said to me on my evaluation, "You need to be a Nurse Practitioner, you got it. You're that good, one of the best I've ever had." If that didn't send me over the moon, I don't know what would. I was so dumbfounded, I only managed a meek "Really?"

At the end of the semester like this, when I'm already too tired to get my lazy butt up to gear up for finals and goshdarnit I want this to be over and dammit I want my Christmas break now, a comment like that truly made my day, if not my whole semester. I was looking forward for something from my clinical evaluation, but my CI gave generic scores on everyone's evaluation sheet and only briefly touched down on our individual performance.

However, today I got what I was looking for. The affirmation that yes, I am doing something right, and not only on tests, but on skills; that yes, after months of that self esteem shooting low
due to um, not knowing what the heck am I doing because I'm a first year, I am actually capable of doing this. All I needed was that evaluation and encouragement she gave, and I knew I could do this again next semester.

Oh, and a bunch of us went out to celebrate our head to toe passing tonight. Hmm, margaritas and sushi are yummy. :D

Nursing School

Today is my first day and it went pretty well if I may say so myself.

One of the new things I'm getting used to is that each of my Monday classes is taught by several instructors, so it's sort of this tandem teaching thing going on. The course manager of the first class reminded me of Stanley Tucci, the other instructor reminded me of Colonel Sanders, and another one reminded me of Kimmie Gibbler of Full House, then the course manager of the second class suddenly started teaching in a Russian accent. It was madness. But funny. And made those lectures bearable. And you gotta love instructors who throw candies to their students before they start their morning lecture--well, they might do that just because it was the first day and they didn't wanna bring out their claws just yet....

I am not fond of when my Assessment lab is scheduled. The day it is on is fine but the time, ugh, forces me to drive in to school instead of taking the bus, wasting my gas and money for parking. Hatehate.

So one of the instructors mentioned above admitted to the effort of arranging lecture materials into a rap, in her words: "I have yet to compose the rap and the beat, but in the foreseeable future I see myself do the (makes a kinda DJ playing the record movement) wiki wiki...."

I think the whole class was just about to die of laughter at a Kimmie Gibbler lookalike attempting what she termed "the wiki wiki", whatever that is....