WTH?!

excuse the non capitalized blog entry. i just need to get this out of my head.

not gonna lie, i'm having a WTH?! situation right now.
no, not a moment.
a situation.
as in...it's longer and bigger than a moment.

no, it's not a bad "i'm hating this" kinda WTH?! but in a more..."i'm so confuzzled by this turn of event, but hey i'm going along with it" kinda WTH?!. what gives you may ask?

lemme explain.

for more than 5 years, i've wanted to be a nurse. i still do. i went through tough times, jumped a lot of hoops, and made sacrifices until i finally graduated from a nursing school almost 2 months ago (has really been 2 months already?!). i hold a bachelor of science degree in nursing, heck, i'm now a registered nurse. so i'm not wrong in expecting that i'd be doing a nursing job right about now, am i? like, you know, working in a hospital, taking care of patients, the way i have dreamed myself doing for the past, oh, five years? i'm not insane for thinking that it should happen right about now or anytime soon, right?

the reality is, i'm not doing that thing i've been dreaming myself doing for the past, oh, five years. a few months ago, i thought i had everything lined up and everything would go according to what i have dreamed myself doing for the past, oh, five years. but nope, as it is with life, it has a penchant for screwing over your plan. okay i take that back, not "screw over", i don't like to call it "screw over" because i believe that the big Guy up there always has surprises, and those always turn out beyond what i thought was best.

anyway, the point is, i'm not doing anything that i'm expecting and expected to be doing. not YET. i think "yet" is the key word here. jobs are scarce, even in the nursing field, which a lot of people don't believe but it's true. so finding a nursing job is harder than it used to, interviews are hard to come by, and competitiveness increases. not to mention my international student status that has become a hindrance. i believe the job will come. HOWEVER.

i'm doing something else right now that just comes out of the left field. something i've never dreamed myself doing in the past, oh, five years. it just sort of...happened, like a small snowball that grew ginormous as it rolls down the hill.

it's called...photography.

i've always have a thing for photos ever since i moved to the states 10 years ago. it came from being away from my loved ones, and wanting to share this new life i'm rebuilding with them. i'd buy film rolls all the time, making sure i was ready to capture every event to be sent back to my family and friends back home. as if i needed to let them know that, look, i'm okay here and this is what's going on with me. as if i needed to tell my parents that they made the right decision in sending me so far away at such a young age without them, because look at the pictures, i'm getting the opportunities they wanted me to have. it started from there, but i wasn't intrigued until eight years later (by this time i've said goodbye to rolls of film and have said hello to digital photography).

two years ago (ironically, this was also the time i started nursing school), i don't remember what sparked it, i became enamored with photos. i saw photos more than just a way to preserve memories. there is an art to it. there is a thought and a planning that goes into creating a photo. it's more than just a snap or a click. it's beautiful.

i then dived into the world of flickr. i'd become enraptured by the photos i see, the different subjects by the different styles of the different photographers. i wonder to myself, how can one creates images so...amazing? soon enough, i found a select group of photographers i like, and i follow their stream of photos daily. from those photographers, i started learning how to take pictures, and what to do with them afterward to make it your own.

it grew from an interest, to a hobby, to a serious hobby, and now to something possibly bigger that i've yet to know what to call it. when i posted pictures on my facebook, it was and is for the fun of it. i didn't expect the overwhelming positive responses i've gotten, and definitely didn't expect people to ask me for my photographing service. this is when the WTH?! comes in.

speaking of the now, i'm supposed to be doing nursing, but i find myself being asked "can you take my baby's pictures?" more than one occasion. so you see why this is a WTH?! situation for me? a confusing one at that? because i know more about nursing than photography. i went to school to be a nurse, not to be a photographer. i can figure out how to handle a crashing patient faster than i can figure out what aperture, shutter, and iso setting i need to use in a room. i can understand an ecg strip better than i can understand what those buttons are for in a photoshop software. i know very little about photography. my knowledge and technique are minuscule. there is a phrase "play it by ear", well, so far i play it by eye when it comes to photography.

recently, people have come out of the woods to tell me i have talent in photography. my nursing instructor said i could revert to it if nursing, by some weird kink in the universe, doesn't work out. my own mother said it and even encouraged me to take photography classes. some even went to say that perhaps i'm in the wrong career path and should switch to photography (to that i refuse to believe. i'm not in the wrong career path, i just have to make it bigger in the future for two careers. i can be a nurse and a photographer on the side, and i will be).

here i am, wondering, how on earth did this turn of event happen?! me, who's supposed to be a nurse right now and who only has a small grain of knowledge in photography, have people actually like my photos enough that they'd ask me to take photos of their kids?! taking pictures for someone is an honor, let me tell you, and these are their children they want me to take pictures of. so excuse me while i let out a big WTH?!

i'm not abandoning nursing. i'm a nurse. i still love nursing and it's still my priority. i'm still looking for a job, the job i've been dreaming myself doing for the past, oh, five years. for now, photography is just something that falls on my lap while i'm on this job search. but the rate it is growing, the irony, and the unexpected element of it are just enough to warrant a WTH?!. God makes life funny for me sometimes, and i'm like, haha *nervous laughs* good one, good one.

i don't know where this leads me. it's nice, i'm not complaining. i enjoy photography, it gives me a different satisfaction than what nursing gives me. but i'm just confused and wondering what's gonna come outta this and why now when i'm supposed to be doing something else. it's a good WTH?! though, because i'm going outside of the box here. photography isn't my comfort zone, it is an uncharted territory that's been given to me, and i'm taking it.

i don't know what He has up His sleeve at the moment, but alright, i'm going with His flow. but, for now, i just can't help but to let out a WTH?!....

Passed.

I'd like to write more about this HESI after math, alas I'm bombarded with clinicals and studying (yes, already) for Monday's exam this week, so this will do.

I PASSED THE HESI!!!! A score of 850 is needed to pass, and I scored a 1000.6, which means I have a very good chance of passing the NCLEX! Huzzah!

All the glory goes back to God, I know I couldn't have done that well without His miracle. The whole 3.5 hours that it took me to finish those 160 questions, I was tachycardic, having cold sweats, nauseated, jittery, and on my way to hyperventilate. I had to constantly remind myself to breathe and focus, breathe and focus, breathe and focus. I remembered having a hard time to slow down in reading the questions after I returned from bathroom break, I had to mentally slap myself to stop rushing. It was the worst 3.5 hours of my life.

And when the screen revealed the score, I couldn't believe it. My instructor came over and patted me on the back, congratulating and telling me I had done wonderful, while I sat there slack-jawed. It was a relief I cannot describe.

Afterward, my friends and I went to lunch and had a couple of drinks, then joined another group at another bar, before finally settling at this cozy little bar, where out instructors also came out to celebrate with us. I have to say we have some of the most amazing instructors, who not have been nothing but supportive and helpful throughout our (almost) two years.

My thoughts and prayers are with my friends who didn't pass. It's hard to celebrate when your heart is saddened for them. Their second chance is within a month and I have faith that they will make it. I pray God grants them the wisdom He granted me this past Monday. I want nothing more than to walk in graduation ceremony in May with them.

HESI is over, a weight has been lifted. However, I'm still heavily busied with exams, group projects, papers, and clinicals. I cannot believe that it's only 6 more weeks until I finish nursing school. I long for the day when I can officially add "RN" behind my name.

HESI.

The HESI is this Monday, March 30, 2009 at 8 am. 160 questions of everything we have covered in nursing school. 6 hours allotted to complete it. A score of 850 needed to pass. Some schools require their students to pass the HESI in order to graduate, some don't. My school believes in the former.

A score below 850 means we take the second attempt in a month, and if we still don't pass, we don't graduate in May. We'll take independent study next semester and take the third and final attempt, a failure on that means we're out of nursing school.

You may think, "Hey, you have a second chance next month," but really, no one wants to take that chance. We all want to graduate and we all want to pass it on the first try. I don't think no one truly understands this pressure we're under except, well, us, and those who have had to take it. We have people, left and right, telling us that we will be fine, that we know these materials, that we will pass. As much as we appreciate the encouragement, and want to sit back and tell ourselves the same thing, we...find it hard to do so.

There are moments where I can tell myself that yes, I can do this, I'll pass. Then, there are moments where I am absolutely frustrated and scared out of my mind. As one of my friend put it, all our years of college come down to this exam on Monday. Everything we have worked for to get to this point come down to these 160 questions that will determine our fate. It's even more nerve-wracking than taking the NCLEX. At least, by the time you're ready to take the NCLEX, you have already graduated from school. For us, without passing the HESI, there will be no NCLEX.

So it's the Saturday before the HESI. Almost every one of my friends' Facebook status has conveyed these two words: anxiety and HESI. Our anxiety is in overdrive. We are freaking out. We are trying to de-stress from the pressure and at the same time staying focused. It is so. damn. hard.

We took a mini HESI last semester, and I scored over 1000, way better than expected. However, it was so...traumatizing, I guess, that I do not remember anything about it except for the anxiety I felt and when I got my score at the end. I don't remember any of the questions and whether I thought it was hard or not, which is odd because I usually have some kind of a semblance of the exams I've taken. Now, the anxiety I have is probably ten times that or worse. I just hope I don't go blank on Monday from it.

I'm praying for myself and everyone in my class to pass. We're on the same boat, all of us. In the last two years, we have kept each other going and inspired each other to be a better nurse, and there is nothing I want more than to see all of us succeed this Monday.

I'm just a human being overwhelmed by this mammoth of an exam, but my God is far greater than the HESI. When I start that exam at 8 am Monday, I know I'm not doing it by my own might for He is with me. If you believe in prayers, please pray for all of us in the Senior II class to do well on this HESI on Monday. If you don't believe in prayers, please send us good thoughts. We need it.

Ready to launch.

I have been thinking.

A lot.

I have put in so much into this decision and I'm going to commit to it and do my parts to go through with it.

I'm moving to New York City in June 2009.

For some people, this isn't a surprise, even for you (I have no idea how many--if there is any) if you've been following my blog because I've talked many times about my amazing summer there. But now, now I'm saying it out loud and putting it out there. I didn't just make this decision in the time following my summer stint there. Although it sealed the deal, my journey to have come to this point began more than 3 years ago.

I visited NYC for the first time in 2005, and I fell in love. There is just something about it that charmed its way into my life and managed to stay since then. For a while I thought I'd move a year or two after graduation, but for the last year or so I knew if I'm ever going to make this dream of mine come true, I have to move right after graduation. Then the internship fell into my lap, an offer I couldn't refuse, and the 3 months I spent there confirmed every reason I have for moving and drove away every doubt I had about making the move--okay, maybe not entirely drove away the doubts, but those doubts were greatly minimized to a point where I am not afraid of them anymore.

A lot of people want to move to NYC, it has a lot to offer: the fun, the lifestyle, the people; it's the best City in the world, they say. I have many reasons too. Out of the places I have traveled to in the U.S., NYC is on top of the "Yeah, I can see living here..." list. I just feel like I fit there, and I am not alone in thinking this way. My family and friends are very supportive and encouraging, telling me that they, too, can see me living there and making it.

I've been where I live now ever since I moved to this country, that is 9 years ago, and by now, I'm getting restless. I want to go to the next level of my life, where I'm out of my comfort zone, where I can grow as a person, where I can open my eyes and see more of what this world can offer, where I can meet new people, where I can make a difference. I'm young and this is my time to spread my wings, if we want to be cliche here.

Having said all of this, I do think that I'm not going to live there forever. I do feel very strongly that once I'm settling down, I'll move somewhere calmer, even come back to this Texan city that has been my second home. In my 23 year old mind, there is no way that I see myself raising a family in the jungle that is New York City, but this will be another decision I will have to make when I get to this bridge years from now. For now, let's just deal with actually moving there first before any thoughts of moving away from there.

This decision has been more than 3 years in the making and you have no idea how much I am relieved and excited to be able to say it out loud that yes, I am moving to New York City in June 2009. Yes, I am and will be making arrangements from now till then. Yes, if God's willing, I'm going to start my nursing career and a new life there.

With my last semester of nursing school--oh man, I can't believe I get to finally say that, my.last.semester. Wow, where has time gone?--starting next week, I'm excited and nervous all mushed into one. A lot will happen within the next 5 months let alone in the rest of the 12 months of this year, in a life changing way at that--applying for jobs in the City, job interviews, HESI, graduation, moving, NCLEX. It's overwhelming I can barely keep my head from exploding.

But I'm ready. I'm ready to launch this year. I'm ready for what may come. I have my faith, I have my family and my friends, I have myself to carry me through. Intermission is almost over, let's get Act II of the Senior Year rollin'!

Back to business.

After a glorious Thanksgiving, it's time to get back to business: studying for finals. This Thursday, the school decided to give us a "mini-HESI" as they call it, as if we don't have enough stressors already. Then, next Monday is Peds final, Tuesday is Psych final, and Wednesday is Adult final, and then I am done as Senior I.

I have zero motivation to study at the moment, but I'm pushing myself to. My whole class and I are just so freaking tired of this chaotic semester already, that we lost the drive to finish off the last 2 weeks. We just hanging around, trying to find whatever left of our energy to study and get these last 2 weeks of the semester over and done with. Our grades have been all over the place and lower than usual all semester long, and a lot of people aren't happy, and my goodness, this semester sucks, and we just want to pass it, darnit!!! Keep us in your prayers, it's been a very hard 4 months for us, with Hurricane Ike screwing us up big time, and we're trying to survive 2 more weeks with our sanity intact. I surely hope all of you reading have a better time the last 4 months, I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

For the rest of the week, I will be chained to my desk, please come visit and say "Hi" as I will see very little--if none at all--of the outside world for the rest of the week.

Imagery.

All I want to do right now is be where all I hear is the rhythmic whir of waves coming onto the beach and the wind smells of the ocean, and when I collapse from this exhaustion, the sand feels soft and warm. I see crystal blue water as far as my eyes can take me, and under the hood of the palm leaves covering my face from the shining sun and with the cool breeze shielding me from the heat, I would doze of to sleep, oh yes I would. Those muscle kinks from hours of sitting down studying and standing on my feet in clincials will relax, and all thoughts of exams, care plans, med sheets, classrooms, and hospitals will go to the land far far away. Oh how life is good, I would think to myself as I drift to a deep sleep.

But suddenly, I was awaken by the deafening sound of a child's scream. A tourist kid who's been playing quietly in the sand got his toe bitten by a crab. Just as I entered back to the conscious world, I'd tell myself it must have been sucked to be that kid. But then I realized my life sucks too because I remember yesterday I had filled up my gas tank early in the morning before clinical paying $3.19/gallon only to find out by the time I got out of clinical 13 hours later, gas was $2.99/gallon at the very same gas station.

Sorry kid, life is tough, at least you're not losing your toe. I, on the other hand, might as well lose my mind because after feeling like I've been beaten down for 3 weeks in the row from studying after studying for exam after exam and clinical after clinical, I still won't get a break to catch my breath until next Sunday because I have Peds exam #2 Monday, a Computer Literacy exam, process recording, and Psych care plan due Tuesday, a Peds care plan and 3-11 pm Psych clinical Wednesday, a possible 7a-7p Adult clinical Thursday, another 3-11 pm Psych clinical Friday, and a 7a-7p Peds clinical Saturday.

I thought last semester was bad, I thought after that was over this semester will be better and I'll have more free time. Hahahhaha hahahhah free time hahhaha. NO.

How do people make it out of nursing school alive with their sanity intact??!!! I need to know of this secret. I feel like I've been pushed to a territory of tiredness and chaos I never know existed. I'm running on fumes these days.

Oh my beach, crystal blue water, ocean breeze, and palm tree--without a crab bitten screaming kid of course--where be you?

Wanna ask me open ended questions?

Autumn. Fall. It's usually my favorite season. But not this year.

In the aftermath of Ike, the schedule for this semester is as messy and scrambled as Paul McCartney and Heather Mills' divorce. It's got the hospitals involved, the required clinical hours involved, the lectures and exams involved. There are hospitals that don't want to deal with us just yet, leading us in the dark as to when we can come in for orientation and to actually start clinical, there are a week worth of materials need to be lectured, there are postponed exams need to be taken. So far, for my clinical section, we have settled 2 orientations out of 3 this week, 2 exams next week, 1 exam the week after, and that's it. It's just this mammoth of uncertainty at the moment.

Also, this week is known as the Brother #2's wedding week, also known as the week my studying time will be cut down due to family related event in which I will put pageant like smiles on my face as I greet the soon to be in-laws of Brother #2 with higher than usual pitch voice to convey as much as glee as I can squeeze out of my current frustrated, anxious, dark, and gloomy state. I should put a name tag that says "Hello my name is Cee, yes I am the sister, and I'm also a nursing student, so forgive the less than bright and cheery appearance, I'm trying my best to think of rainbows and roses for this occasion that I truly am happy about, but it's just that nursing school is kicking my ass and Ike just ruined what was a bearable semester into one that will undo me. So if I have a faraway look on my face when you're talking to me, it's not that you're boring or I don't like you, I'm just trying to recall the materials for my exams next week."

The thing is, the sufficient study time to pass me is there but I'm just feeling I'm going to be so damn exhausted all week, I already am. This week will be the death of me.

Please send fluffy cotton candies, ponies, chocolates, rainbows, pots of gold, and fairy dusts to the newly opened Things to Keep Cee From Pulling Out Her Hair and Headdesking Too Much donation box, I greatly appreciate it.

Senior year, it has begun.

Okay, I'm really bad at updating blog. Really bad. I haven't gotten a chance to write a proper blog about my New York experience yet, so far it has been lists, and I don't feel like it's a proper enough post. And then there is thing called the Senior year that had just started. Um, gooodbye summer break....

The Senior year, the last year, the time frame that will determine if I will add an "RN" behind my name at the end of this period. Quite scary, I say. I couldn't believe that it is finally here, this senior year, I feel it was just yesterday I was sending out applications. Wasn't it just recently that nursing school was just a dream and now I am halfway through? Now, it's time to gear up for the HESI and NCLEX, wait wait...hold up, HESI?! NCLEX?! Jeez...really?! Already?! I have no idea where time went.

So senior year, I am a week and two days into in. As usual, the first 3 weeks of the new semester is like "Well hello, INFORMATION OVERLOAD!!!" *thuds*, because you're either sitting in lectures in your scheduled class times or you're in lecture or lab 9-5 on the days you're not supposed to be in class, but they make you to because you don't have clinicals yet and they don't like to see you having 3 off days because they're mean like that.

I'm kidding, they're not mean. Okay, maybe a little mean. Point is, we're always exhausted, grumpy, and whiny, and it's only the second week. And to think we still have 4 more months of this. Le sigh....

Today, we sat through a 9-5 Psych lectures. Maaaan, was I Miss Antsy Mcpantsy after only the first hour.... Tomorrow is another 9-5, but at least it's a lab, we get to walk around, play with equipments, and poke each other. Hooray. Oh the sound of excitement...not.

Speaking of clinicals, I have sucky clinicals days. SUCKY, I tell you. A Wednesday (Adult), a Friday (Peds), a Saturday (Psych), I am none to happy. What upsets me the most is that my dear mother is coming from my home country and I had this plan to take her somewhere on weekends that I am not bombarded with school works--these weekends are rare commodities but they do exist once in a bluemoon. However, I am now left with only Thursday and Sunday off. I'm pretty much stuck until Thanksgiving! Bah humbug....

On another note, my friend made this observation last week as we took the medication calculation test, a.k.a the test that you must get 100 on to pass, and if you don't make 100 in 3 tries then you're out of the program. So afterward, she said "Miss Cee, please be a little more nervous next time you take a test. What is wrong with you? Why are you so chill taking a test? It's making me more nervous, at least pretend you're nervous!" It appears whatever calming method I was using worked a little to well perhaps.

And the next day she said, "You look so dainty today with that top you're wearing. Looking like a New Yorker already." Wha? Am I not wrong when I said that you usually hear a New Yorker described as an all black, ice queen, no non-sense kinda thing? But dainty? Who would've thunk?! My friend, she said the darndest thing obviously.

Well, there you have it. Senior year, it is here.

Auf wiedersehen, Junior II!!

I can proudly say that I have officially finished (and survived) my second semester of nursing school. HUZZAAH!!! Today is my last final and I am D-O-N-E with Junior II semester. WOOT!!!

I took the OB final and scored an 85 on it, giving me an 86 in the class. I have an 80 in Adult Health, and two A's in the two 2 credit hours classes. I'm still waiting for the final grade in another 2 credit hours class. I'm hoping for an A in that class so I can have 2 B's for the big classes and 3 A's for the small classes.

So relieved and happy to be done. I come back for a short semester on Monday for nursing elective, and leave for the internship right after that. Can't wait!!!

Last.

Last night was my last OB clinical, and I was sad to leave. I have truly enjoyed the experience due to my amazing instructor, who has a wide range of experience and tries so hard to let us see and do things we've never seen an done before. She is amazing. My friend said, "If I could have all of my clinicals with her for the rest of my school career, I would". I agree, she's just so wonderful, and I'll miss her.

The hospital we were at is not one of the magnet hospital in this city, it's a general hospital where the low income population and everyone else who has no insurance go to. I knew of the fact that I will not have an encounter with, as my instructor said when we started, "the Gerber baby family" who lives in the suburbs, 2 cars, 2 stories house with a front and back lawns and white picket fences surrounding it. It's an entirely new and different experience for me, but I'm so grateful I had the experience.

It taught me what being a nurse is about, that when you care for your patients, you see past what society has labeled them and you just see them as persons who need you and your care, and that is who they are. Their history may say they're drug addicts and the CPS is going to take their baby away, or they're brought from jail with one leg chained to the bed, or they're 37 weeks who've had no prenatal care and not taken any prenatal vitamins, or they're unmarried teens with their 2nd baby, but you don't dwell on that piece of fact. They don't deserve less medical attention based on what their history says, they still need the doctors and you, as their nurse to care for them. I love what my nurse said last week, "When you take care of a patient, you take care of them like you take care your family. You'd want them to be comfortable and you'd make them comfortable". And that is one of the things I will take with me throughout my career.

Last night was great for a last clinical day. I got to draw blood and saw another C-section, this time less traumatizing for the mother--and me for that matter. A complete opposite of the C-section last week, phew. The mother was actually my patient that was admitted to the triage. They were going to admit her to Mother-Baby, but at last decided she would go for a C-section due to a few circumstances. Then after the baby was out, the surgeons lifted up the uterus for us--4 nursing students lined up against the wall--to see and showed us the ovaries and what not.

One other thing to mention about that, is it was very nice of the surgeons to do that, but my friends and I still joke that they did so because they felt guilty about kicking us out of the OR in the beginning. It was all good though, we knew they were really concern about the amount of people in the OR as they were prepping and fear of contaminating the sterile field. So after one of them contaminated her gown when one of the staff accidentally touched her, she ordered us to "stay outside and come in after the baby was out or something". We were like "What?! Until the baby out?! What the heck?!" So we watched from the window until they made the first cut, and she actually sent a nurse to get us back in before we were going to sneak back in regardless of waiting until "after the baby out or something". Afterward, as we were about to start post conference, she came to find us and apologize for earlier, so that was very nice of her. See? Doctors and surgeons are nice, and I like them a lot when they're that way.

So that is it. That is the end of OB clinical this semester. Wow, I can't believe Junior II is ending in a matter of 4 weeks. Yesterday, I also registered for next semester as Senior I. It's surreal, time has really gone by fast. It seems like it was just yesterday that I started this blog to journal my journey (heeey, rhymes!) as I started nursing school.

Senior I. Dang.

Break.

So Spring Break is here, and I love it. Okay, I won't exactly love it starting tomorrow because that is when I start slaving away with homeworks and studying and what not.

That said, this past 5 days of a very much needed break have been wonderful. This past weekend I went on a little trip to a beach, we fished, we did puzzle, I finished a book. Yesterday and today, I slept in, I youtubed (very addicting), and I shopped. Maaaarvelous time I say!

And in case you didn't notice, I said I FINISHED reading a book! My first one this year, and my first in MONTHS! This may sound ridiculous to you, but finishing this book is one of the things I most proud of in the last 9 months. I love to read, and I usually (meaning pre-nursing school) read a book--if not 2--a month, it depends, but all in all I read regularly. That changed once I started nursing school, since last August I could only recall reading 4 books. That is sad.

My read list has grown longer and longer, I've wanted to read so badly, yet I kept telling myself I had not time and I'd feel guilty if I'm straying from those daunting nursing textbooks. But that ended earlier this month when I braved myself into a budget bookstore and grabbed me 2 books. TWO! I didn't know buying books could make me that happy, and finishing made me even more so.

Somewhere in the middle of the school chaos, I found time, I found it therapeutic, and I fell in love all over again with reading. And yes, I realized that sounds the so cheesy, but dammit, I didn't feel guilty about having a me time and I'm going to brag about it! Okay so, book numero uno, Middlesex by the way, is done, book numero dos, Snow falling on Cedars, is next. Also next are studying for big Acute test #2, Acute and OB care plans, journal papers, discussion papers, and some kind of project I haven't even look at.

My Spring Break ends today. Boo....

Update on the internship: NONE. Letter still has not arrived. I'm getting antsier and antsier by day.

Not so brandnew anymore.

I just volunteered at the school's new students orientation today, and it's minboggling to realize that three months ago I was one of those newbies, nervous and confused about what is to come.

Today, I gave the incoming newbies information about the scrubs they need (all hail the elastic pants! Drawstrings hate me, they keep falling off on me!), which sthetoscope is good (Littman is your friend, your expensive friend that is), what supplies they really need to get (blood pressure cuff? Won't need it until 3rd semester Community class; clipboard? Good for something to write on, a hassle to carry around), and answered questions about the classes & professors (Concepts sucks, and yes, it's OK to skip lectures as long as you know which one, and you'll love your Patho and Pharm instructors).

It is a very strange feeling to realize how clueless I really was and to see how much I've gained in just three months. It's crazy! And those newbies, they're so fresh and unassuming, and all I can say to them is "Buckle up because it's going to be one hell of a ride!"

Nursing School

Today is my first day and it went pretty well if I may say so myself.

One of the new things I'm getting used to is that each of my Monday classes is taught by several instructors, so it's sort of this tandem teaching thing going on. The course manager of the first class reminded me of Stanley Tucci, the other instructor reminded me of Colonel Sanders, and another one reminded me of Kimmie Gibbler of Full House, then the course manager of the second class suddenly started teaching in a Russian accent. It was madness. But funny. And made those lectures bearable. And you gotta love instructors who throw candies to their students before they start their morning lecture--well, they might do that just because it was the first day and they didn't wanna bring out their claws just yet....

I am not fond of when my Assessment lab is scheduled. The day it is on is fine but the time, ugh, forces me to drive in to school instead of taking the bus, wasting my gas and money for parking. Hatehate.

So one of the instructors mentioned above admitted to the effort of arranging lecture materials into a rap, in her words: "I have yet to compose the rap and the beat, but in the foreseeable future I see myself do the (makes a kinda DJ playing the record movement) wiki wiki...."

I think the whole class was just about to die of laughter at a Kimmie Gibbler lookalike attempting what she termed "the wiki wiki", whatever that is....

Here's a story:

Once upon a time there was a girl who, after debating and contemplating between the Nurse Lane and the Doctor Boulevard, decided that she would take the Nurse Lane because that was where she felt she wanted to be. To make the story short, she finally got into a SoN. Almost halfway through her summer school at the nursing school when she thought to herself, "Self, why don't I write this experience down so I could look back at it someday and be all nostalgic and laugh at my clueless self. Plus, the writing needs some improvement and well, practice makes prefect they say." So she did just that to chronicle what she got herself into.

As for now, she is currently taking Pathophysiology as that summer class. Fall semester will start at the end of August and she has ordered her scrubs and school badge and stethoscope and what have you. She's taken her first test in Patho and passed, just not with flying colors. The next test, a week from today, will be better though.

So there's the mandatory introductory post. No, she will no longer talk in third person like this.