HESI.

The HESI is this Monday, March 30, 2009 at 8 am. 160 questions of everything we have covered in nursing school. 6 hours allotted to complete it. A score of 850 needed to pass. Some schools require their students to pass the HESI in order to graduate, some don't. My school believes in the former.

A score below 850 means we take the second attempt in a month, and if we still don't pass, we don't graduate in May. We'll take independent study next semester and take the third and final attempt, a failure on that means we're out of nursing school.

You may think, "Hey, you have a second chance next month," but really, no one wants to take that chance. We all want to graduate and we all want to pass it on the first try. I don't think no one truly understands this pressure we're under except, well, us, and those who have had to take it. We have people, left and right, telling us that we will be fine, that we know these materials, that we will pass. As much as we appreciate the encouragement, and want to sit back and tell ourselves the same thing, we...find it hard to do so.

There are moments where I can tell myself that yes, I can do this, I'll pass. Then, there are moments where I am absolutely frustrated and scared out of my mind. As one of my friend put it, all our years of college come down to this exam on Monday. Everything we have worked for to get to this point come down to these 160 questions that will determine our fate. It's even more nerve-wracking than taking the NCLEX. At least, by the time you're ready to take the NCLEX, you have already graduated from school. For us, without passing the HESI, there will be no NCLEX.

So it's the Saturday before the HESI. Almost every one of my friends' Facebook status has conveyed these two words: anxiety and HESI. Our anxiety is in overdrive. We are freaking out. We are trying to de-stress from the pressure and at the same time staying focused. It is so. damn. hard.

We took a mini HESI last semester, and I scored over 1000, way better than expected. However, it was so...traumatizing, I guess, that I do not remember anything about it except for the anxiety I felt and when I got my score at the end. I don't remember any of the questions and whether I thought it was hard or not, which is odd because I usually have some kind of a semblance of the exams I've taken. Now, the anxiety I have is probably ten times that or worse. I just hope I don't go blank on Monday from it.

I'm praying for myself and everyone in my class to pass. We're on the same boat, all of us. In the last two years, we have kept each other going and inspired each other to be a better nurse, and there is nothing I want more than to see all of us succeed this Monday.

I'm just a human being overwhelmed by this mammoth of an exam, but my God is far greater than the HESI. When I start that exam at 8 am Monday, I know I'm not doing it by my own might for He is with me. If you believe in prayers, please pray for all of us in the Senior II class to do well on this HESI on Monday. If you don't believe in prayers, please send us good thoughts. We need it.