Grateful and Humbled.

When I say right now, that I am grateful for my life and have been humbled to not take it for granted, it's not a cliche. That is truly my sentiment after hearing a news story in the recent days.

If you haven't heard, actress Natasha Richardson had a ski accident a few days ago, in which she fell and hit her head on the ground. She was fine immediately after, and it was not until an hour later that she started complaining of a headache and was taken to the hospital. Before that day ended, she was unconscious, suffering from swelling of the brain. The news are filled with conflicting reports, some say she's brain dead, some say she has not reached that state yet. Nevertheless, she has suffered from a hematoma, and now in critical condition.

I cannot get this news out of my head because I realized this could've been me when I fainted, fell down, and hit the back my head--hard--on the bathroom floor 3 weeks ago when I had a 103F fever. I didn't just fainted and fell once, but twice, although I didn't hit my head the second time. I remember the fear I had when I woke up seconds later to feel my head pounding and find myself lying flat on the bathroom floor. My immediate thought was not of why I fainted, but what can result from this within the next few hours or days.

The knowledge I have gained from nursing school told me that I could either get up, walk back to my bed, and have no effect from the fall, or I could get up, have headaches, and start projectile vomiting within an hour to a day or to a week time frame. When I got up from the floor, I had a gut feeling that I would be okay, that this wasn't going to turn ugly, but I very well knew I wasn't going to be out of the wood for at least a week. That day I wasn't praying for my fever to go down, instead I was fervently praying for no hematoma formation. I am not exaggerating when I say that I was praying for my life the rest of that day--or week for that matter.

When I told my preceptor of my fainting episodes, she immediately replied, "Oh my God, thank God you're okay. That's how people die! They faint, hit their head somewhere, and they think it's nothing. But then it turns ugly and they die." That pretty much confirmed that I wasn't being dramatic to be worried and afraid of the fall I had. What my preceptor said was exactly what I was thinking, and that was exactly what happened to the actress. She thought it was a minor fall, she talked and walked back to her hotel room, and then she went into a coma within short hours. Just like that.

My heart and prayers go to the actress and her family. I don't know them, but it's a very sad and unfortunate situation, and I cannot stop thinking that it could've been my family and I in the very same situation.

It's another reminder that anything can happen, to you and the ones you love, that life can be too short and unpredictable. So use the time you have now to love, to bless, to care, to be kind, to appreciate, to fulfill, and to be thankful of. Don't waste it, don't take it for granted. Do what you need to do, and say what you need to say before life takes an unexpected turn and you find yourself wishing you've done or said some things sooner or differently.

I am truly grateful that I am still alive today, and humbled that I was still given a chance to live.

ETA:
An official statement just came out from the family stating that she has passed away. I can't fathom what her family is going through. It's another odd feeling to realize what I had worried could happen after I fell 3 weeks ago actually happened, but to another person. And it's also a little eerie to think of what my preceptor had said after I told her the bathroom incident. I just had a different ending, a healthier and living ending.