Update.

Whew, I need to stop abandoning this blog! I haven't been in the mood of writing lately, even though there is much I want to say. So here's an update of what's been going on in my life. I miss writing about nursing experiences, but I'm about to start my first job as a RN soon, so I hope hope hope that will get me back to writing. :)

Summer.

I like summer. After years of schooling, summer signifies a break for me. I’m not sure it will stay that way, now that I’m entering the working force—the real world, yo!—where you just keep on slaving away and summer will become just another season.

I’ve had two very interesting consecutive summers. Last summer, I was having the time of my life interning in New York. This summer, however, was quite the opposite. If last year I was in cloud nine, this year I often found myself in the deepest solitude. It doesn’t mean that it has been a bad summer, but it is just a summer full of introspections.

I graduated, I looked for a job, I didn’t get a job, I became a Registered nurse, I looked for some more jobs, and I finally got a job right at the eve of summer’s end. It was fitting, a full circle if I can say. I had many hopes at the beginning of this summer, but when those hopes didn’t materialize in reality and I found myself idle in this seemingly long summer, I realized that it was time to do some thinking.

As much as I was frustrated this summer, I am thankful that I had the time to reorganize my thoughts. Years of school being my priority did not leave much time to think about anything else, but now that I am done, I have all the time in the world to see things I had not seen before. I looked back to what has happened, to what God has done in my life, and to what I have become. Then, I looked to the future to set up new goals, to open myself up for new possibilities that God has in store for me, and to figure out what I want to become.

Life is about change, and knowing when to make that change.

Job.

The single word of “job” has overtaken my summer. The single quest to find one was enough to drive me nuts and leave me drained. But let me tell you the miracle of how I finally landed the job.

I had truly liked the unit where I did my last clinical at a highly reputable hospital in medical center. I had liked my preceptors. I had liked the unit director and the manager. I had like the nurses, the PCA’s, the unit secretaries, the whole staff basically. Although, I had not like this type of unit before I did this clinical, I had liked it two weeks into my clinical. Midway through the rotation, I started to feel like I know what I was doing and I was welcomed as a part of the team. A bunch of the staff had come up to tell me to work there after graduation, some had told me to come in wearing their uniform scrubs next time I’d come for clinical because I was already like one of their own, and even the patients’ meal service lady started calling me “baby co-worker”.

I gave my resume to the unit director two days before my last clinical. What I thought was supposed to be a short meeting between she and I turned out to be an encounter between she, the unit’s manager, the unit’s clinical educator, my preceptor, and I. They were all so excited about my desire to return, and the only rain on that parade was the lack of budget the unit had to hire more nurses.

I was disappointed, of course, but I kept in touch the unit director. We briefly exchanged emails ay the beginning of summer, and I never heard from her again. The summer saw me applying for various jobs and even interviewed, with no luck in landing an actual job. Also added to the equation was the complexity that is my international status. I was at my wit’s end trying to get a job.

I had lost hope for that unit, until on a whim, I decided to shoot the director an email saying that I had just passed my board and still interested to work there. She replied with words that she should hear about an opening in a week or two and that she had forwarded my resume to her recruiter. I thought it was just another false hope, so I didn’t think much of it. Lo and behold, the recruiter called a week later.

As I was talking to the recruiter, I kept waiting for her to schedule an interview. She never did. Instead, she scheduled for me to come in to take a medication exam. HOLD UP, I thought, medication exam isn’t supposed to be taken until one has passed all the rounds of interview and has gotten the manager’s seal of approval. Then, she kept on talking about doing background check and drug screen and paperwork, and I thought, WAIT A MINUTE, did she just offer me…?!

For a good week, I marveled at this fast turn of event. Did I just get a job?! OH YES I DID! Of course, I was still worried about my status holding me back, but they did not make a problem out of it. I claim this job in the name of Jesus, and as of now, I start orientation of my new job at the end of the month. I knew that this will come eventually, because I have faith that He will always come through. I just didn’t expect it to be this way with everything happening so fast once it started. But based on my experiences, He rarely does thing the traditional way. He’s funny like that.

The next level.

I’m content with my life, but I also know that, when God has finished a chapter, He has something better for the next one. Hence, I’ve been asking Him to take me to the next level. I need new challenges. I need experiences I’ve never had before. I need to build on my characters. But where do I go? What do I do? How do I prepare for this? How can I be a better person? It is a process, and it is not an easy one. I won’t know all the answers at once, but I’m willing to submit to His molding. That’s what I know for now.

One year.

While July 27^th marks the birthday of my twin nieces, it is also the day my Grampa died. The nieces that I have never met turn two this year, and the Grampa I’ve known my whole life has been gone for a year. It is an odd day for me, partly happy and partly sad, and the only common thing about it is that I yearn to see them.

I had been in New York doing my internship when I got the news that he was in the hospital, and my family had told me to stay put because he seemed to be on his way to recovery. However, almost a week later, when I asked my aunt again if I should go home that weekend, she said yes. I flew back on a Thursday and ended up staying home until the following Tuesday. He had been in the hospital for about 2 weeks, but we finally brought him home that Friday afternoon.

Early Sunday morning, around 5:30 to 6 am, my tearful Gramma woke me up. Being a student nurse at the time, the only one in the family who has medical knowledge, I was the first person Gramma called when she thought he had died. I rushed to his room, but I stopped on my track once I saw him. He looked different, and I knew he was gone. Nevertheless, I tried to find a pulse, begging God to let me feel one, but there was none. I looked at my Gramma and told her that, indeed, he was gone. I woke my uncles up, called my aunt, my brother, and my parents in Jakarta to let them know. That was a weekend I’d carry with me for the rest of my life. I don’t think I can forget having to confirm that my Grampa was dead and to break that news to the rest of my family.

A year flew by, and I thought of him often since then. I believe it’s safe to say that we all have missed him terribly. He was there through his grandchildren’s childhood, often visiting us bearing treats and taking us on a trip to the amusement parks, and sometimes, I just wished he could be here a little bit longer to see our life stories unfold now that almost all of us are grown ups. In the past 365 days, my brother J had gotten married and bought a house, my cousin C and I had graduated from universities—she a teacher and I a nurse, my cousin M had graduated from high school and is heading to college this fall, my cousin V had bought a house, my cousin K had given birth to E—his third great granddaughter, and my cousin S had gotten married. At every single of this event that we have celebrated, I wished he was here with us.

I know that he is in a better place and that he’s watching from heaven. However, I still can’t help but wish to have him here, there is a longing to see him walk down the aisles with Gramma at their grandkids’ weddings, to see him hold and play with his great grandkids, to see him be taken on a tour inside the houses that his grandkids own, to see him watch us graduate and be who we’re meant to be. More than anything, I wish Gramma still had him here with her.

The house has gotten quieter in the past year, and that has become our new normal. A new normal, in which we’d carry on with our lives, but, every now and then, we wish he was still here.

Let there be light.

My house now has power back, wooot!!! After 4 days of living in the dark and without AC, we finally can lay to rest the flashlights and candles. Thank God! School is out until Wednesday, the rest of the week is still unsure. I'm trying very hard to focus and study but such is a difficult thing to do.

On another news, my mama will arrive in TWO days! Wheeeee :D I haven't seen her in 6 years, I've missed her so. Can't wait can't wait can't wait!

So I heard India Arie's Summer for the first time today and, boy, did that make me miss summer. I've thought about those summer days a lot.

"Goodbye summer, I hate to see you go. I wasn't ready for the autumn wind to blow."

Damn right, I surely wasn't ready for Ike to blow and wreck havoc on this city the first month of autumn.

"My heart is frozen in this place, waiting for another summer's day to bring you back my way."

True...true..., but more like to bring me back that way to New York.

I've been thinking how much I miss the fast pace of New York. Maybe that might sound weird for some to hear, I've heard a lot of "NY is too busy for me", and I'll be the first to admit that I'm not planning to live there forever either. When I'm older with a few kids in tow, I will appreciate the slow and relaxed pace of Texas.

But for now, I miss the climbing 4 flights of stairs to get to that apartment in Astoria and climbing more steps to get to the subway, I miss the walking and maneuvering my way through the human traffic that is the New York sidewalks, I miss the convenience of having 3 grocery stores in the 6 blocks between the subway station and the apartment, I miss being able to walk into the cozy bakery across the street from the apartment for a dessert fix anytime of the week, I miss ordering take outs that aren't just pizza, I miss the plethora of restaurants the City has to offer, I miss the smell of falafel, kebab, and hot dogs as I walk down the street, I miss going to Broadway shows and summer concerts at the parks.

*big sighs*

Most of all, I've missed the people I met there the most.

New York from my eyes.

It's only fair that I post some pictures from my summer in New York.

Let's start with the picture that is perhaps my favorite picture that I took this summer.

Brooklyn Bridge and Lower Manhattan from DUMBO.


Bryant Park, taken with my camera phone.


Union Square from the second floor of Whole Foods, taken with my camera phone.


Times Square.


Fifth Avenue.


My favorite piece from the rooftop garden at the Metropolitan Museum, taken with my camera phone.


The rooftop garden at the Met, taken with my camera phone.


Coney Island, taken with my camera phone.


A piece outside of MoMA (Museum of Modern Art), taken by my friend.


the Sculpture garden at MoMA.


Central Park, taken with my camera phone.


Where we went kayaking on the Hudson River.


My roommate took this view of the city as she was on the kayak.


Riverside Park on the Upper West Side, I believe they used this location to film You've Got Mail.

Next time I'll post pictures from my Boston and Washington D. C. trips.

Reflecting.

The internship, I miss it. As I started my Child Health (Peds) class this semester, I realized just how much I'd learned over the summer. Even when, at the time, I complained that it was unfortunate that we as interns were limited in what we were allowed to do. Now, I saw just how much knowledge I've gained by doing what were seemingly trivial tasks over this summer.

Those urines I dip and how to get them out of diapers, keeping track of I&O's and the importance behind it, checking on IV's every hour and keeping track of those numbers, monitoring those vitals during conscious sedation, the little tricks you use with children to get them to cooperate with you, getting blood from those central lines. They all came rushing back to me, and when my instructors lecture or showing us things in the lab, they make an absolutely perfect sense. And once again, I am humbled to be where I was this summer.

The floor I interned at receives Hematology/Oncology patients, so a lot of the children that I've taken care of are frequent fliers or regular costumers, which means they stay on the unit for a long period of time and/or frequently return for treatment. As a result, the staff get to know them and their family pretty well and vice versa. There is not a day that has gone by since I ended my internship that I don't think about those "regular costumers".

How are they responding to their treatment? Have N & M lost their hair? Is P still scared when it's time to change his port-a-cath needle? Is G still refusing his meds? Has R finished her round of chemo? How are they and their family coping? Is Y home by now? I hope her count stays up. I hope C's bone marrow transplant goes well. I hope none of them relapses....

My heart breaks for them, for what they have to go through. I used to read their charts in the lounge, then I'd watch from the window in the corner, out to the green of Central Park across the street. A playground was there, swings, slides, monkey bars, you name it, and everyday I watched as kids filter through that playground throughout all hours of the morning and afternoon, wishing the kids I had on the unit could do the same. I'd take a long sigh and get back to work, saying a little prayer as I pass each room for them to get better a little sooner.

Yet in all of this, I've found great courage. Cliche to say that, but it couldn't be more true. For two days I watched as one family broke down as their 3 year old was diagnosed with Leukemia, but in the days afterward I watched them gathered every strength they had to pull through. They took in every ounce of information the doctors tell them--treatments, procedures, side effects, risks, prognosis, asked questions, and clang to every hope. They braved procedures that they have never heard before--lumbar puncture, bone marrow aspirate, port-a-cath insertion--and one they've heard but never thought would exist in their family--chemotherapy--being done on their tiny child. They held their child's hands and soothed their child through every vitals, labs, and meds with "It's okay, it's okay. It's gonna be okay." Sometimes, I even think they said those words to assure themselves too.

Those children, they're bravery and courage personified. As angry as they might have been, as scared as they might been, as rebellious as they might have been against all of these diseases, they manage. They just do. Somehow, along the way, they find a way to cope, to accept, to fight, and a reason to live. Every so often I'd come across charts so thick with health history, full of conditions so foreign to me, I had to google as I read those charts, and every so often afterward, I've found myself dumbfounded as to how they find the strength to go through all of that for years and years. My hat is off to them.

I really do miss those kids. Baby D, unaware of the how sick he really is, moving his head happily when you play his music toys as you take his vitals. Little N, the little tod, screaming bloody murder at everything and anything done to him, but once in a while when you're just checking on him throughout the day, he'd show you what game he's playing, he'd smile and you'd forget an hour ago he was kicking all four limbs as you and your nurse restrain him down for an oral med. R, in her early teen, as sweet as she can be, letting me draw my first central line blood from her even though she's very particular about her line. S, who came in for a sickle cell crisis, was quiet as a rock, but once she talked 50 mph with her 5 year old imagination, you knew she was no longer in pain and she was going home soon.

With this experience, I look forward to my Peds clinical this semester. I love working with children, they are a source of inspiration.

Lists, they complete my life.....

Another list to compile the non-hospital related things I did--or didn't--while in New York.

-Everyday I walked up and down 4 flight of stairs to get to and from my apartment.

-My cooking ability is still not enough to be called "skill".

-I lint rolled the clothes I was wearing before I left the apartment, while walking to the subway, on the subway, and sometimes once I got to my destination. Those cats shed like there's no tomorrow. Damn.

-Speaking of cats, I cleaned up cat's puke once.

-During the 3 months of my stay, I have only worn heels one night. ONE, and a ONE inch heels at that....

-Holy a lot of walking, Batman!

-Bought many a flat shoes.

-Once, under the influence of an impulsive friend (you know who you are), I spent way more that I usually would on a dress. Like, 5 times more that I would. To this day, no matter how good that dress makes me look, I still cringe when I thought about it. What the hell was I thinking?!

-Gone out past 2-3 am on many occasion, which usually is unheard of when the semester is in session.

-Smoked Hookah for the first time. Did not like it.

-Went to the Met twice and to MoMa once and was surprised that I actually enjoyed museums more than I thought I would.

-Fell in love with the little boutiques in SoHo, even though I barely buy anything from them.

-Didn't see as many Broadway show as I thought I would. I only saw 2, shocking, considering how big of a Broadway fan I am. Why didn't I see more will remain a mystery.

-Kayaked on the Hudson River. For free! So much fun!

-Spent a weekend in Boston with my roommate and my friend. One of the best weekends this summer.

-Took a day trip to Washington D.C. with another friend. Another fun time.

-Until we arrived in East Chinatown area at 1 am-ish with no yellow cab in sight and only black cab drivers trying to woo us.

-The subway already looked scary enough for me when I got there earlier that morning, so I bravely took the black cab.

-And was scared shitless the whole way home. The driver was nice and my gut trusted him, but still you know, unregistered cab past midnight is nevertheless shady.

-Then I scared my roommate shitless when I got home. I had tried to be as quiet as possible, but right when I entered the room, the cat had woken her up, plus the light from my cell phone screen was on. There was some screaming alright....

-Went karaoke in Ktown and experienced the horror that is Korean background video as we sang. Nothing like watching bloody war video as you're singing a love song. Really....

-Walked the Brooklyn Bridge from Manhattan to Dumbo. The view of Manhattan from Dumbo was worth the long walk across the East River.

-Fell in love with the East Village. St. Marks, what would I do without you?

-Ate out a LOT and tried many a fabulous food and desserts, which is not conducive to said cooking skill mentioned above.

Speaking of food:

-Had a hotdog from the food stand on the street. It was like a rite of passage to New York or somethin'....

-Went to Serendipity and had the famous frozen hot chocolate. It was good.

-Went to had Japanese ramen. Great, but Samurai noodle in Seattle still wins by a mile.

-Spent an afternoon at Cha An teahouse in the East Village chatting with girlfriends. Good time.

-Went to this two super cool and authentic Japanese places, Oh Taisho! and Kyotofu. Gah, I love Japanese food.

-Went to Rice to Riches, a whole store of rice pudding desserts with a plethora of flavors.

-Tried the cupcakes from Crumbs. Overrated.

-Went to Max Brenner, the chocolate desserts haven. Can't get enough of it.

-Had a very very good Korean BBQ at Madangsui.

-Had Indian food for the first time at one of the Indian restaurants on the Indian street in East Village.

-Had the ever delicious soup dumplings from Shanghai Cuisine.

-Tried the hot chocolate soup dumpling from Rickshaw.

-Ate many a dish from my home country in Elmhurst. Yuuummmeeh!

-Took advantage of New York's Restaurant Week twice. First to Cafe Centro at the Grandcentral terminal, and second to Firebird, a Russian restaurant.

-Fell in love with Martha's Country Bakery across the street from my apartment. Everything there tastes delicious, like little pieces of heaven. Gelato, cupcakes, pound cakes, cakes, pies, pastries, you name it.

-I went to Coney Island and had an affair with a very yummy funnel cake.

Okay, enough mentions of food.

-Bought my first laptop.

-And also bought my first digital camera. Both with the money I earned from the internship. :)

-Met the cutest baby ever. That Kayla, she's all cheeks and rolls, a doll that one.

-My roommate and I, on our way out for a night in the city, went to her friend's apartment due to some rat incident. Needless to say, we didn't go out and I experienced the infamous New York rat-in-the-apartment story.

-Speaking of roommate, I had the nicest, funniest, most wonderful roommate ever.

-Went to my first Jazz concert.

-Stepped out of my comfort zone of being quiet and pushed myself to be more talkative with new people, however uncomfortable that made me feel at first.

-As a result, I've made friends with wonderful people. They made my New York experience all the more memorable.

-Over the summer, I've met people who are copywriter, graphic designer, clothing designer and store owner, model, music therapist, accountant, art director, Wall Street person, nurse, doctor, interior design student, food science student, media student, etc. It's like, wow, I've never thought I've met such a diverse group of people in one short period of time.

I'm sure there's plenty more that I did and didn't do, that I can't remember on top of my head right now. So for now, this is it. I'm sure I will still make some New York related posts for some time. I mean, summer in New York, can't write about it in a single post....

Well, hello there!

This blog desperately needs to be updated. I thought I was going to write more while I was in New York, but who am I kidding? I was out and about every chance I got when I wasn't working. I mean, it's New York City!

I am now back in the great (and hot) land of Texas. A lot has happened since I last wrote, so this is just going to be another update lists, until I find time to gather my thoughts.

• Summer flew by fast. Too fast!
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• I flew back to Texas one weekend due to family emergency.
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• My Grandfather was sick and eventually passed away.
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• I was there when he passed, but missed the funeral because I had to go back to finish the internship.
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• Speaking of internship, it is done. Sadness....
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• It was an amazing experience, one I would treasure for the rest of my life.
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• Now I am back, and I've been settling down into my new room.
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• When Grampa got sick, my grandparents and I switched rooms for an easier access for them since my old room was downstairs.
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• My cousins and I pretty much stuffed everything from my old room upstairs.
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• And I didn't have time to clean and organize in the short weekend that I was home.
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• So now I came home to a room full of things everywhere. I mean EVERY FREAKING WHERE, I can barely walk in that room.
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• It took me two days to get everything cleaned up and neat.
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• I am so tired, someone should give me a message.
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• And it has been so gloomy here.
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• Heck, am I not in Texas?!
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• Where is the scorching heat?
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• Okay, I'll shut up. Better not jinx it....
• I miss New York. A lot.
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• And this post doesn't make sense at all. Just be blabbering.
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• And now I'm gonna eat. Haven't had a meal since morning. Stupid moving....

Random.

There have only been a handful of times that the full moon is so beautiful I stop on my track to just gaze upon it, big--appearing so close to the earth--with an orange glow--the reflecting the sun's setting. Some people say stop and smell the roses, I stop and see the moon.

I'm in.

For the first time since I started this internship, I feel like a nurse, and I feel like I'm more than another PCA/student to the other nurses. For the first time, I feel like I'm a part of the team. It's not that the nurses aren't great or helpful because they are, but I just felt like they see me as a student or a guest, and I'm here to shadow to learn and do PCA things. Generally, I've felt like I was on the outside, I'd do vitals, I&O's, ADL's, monitoring, and little things they've asked me to do, but they don't really involve me in the what's going on of these patients. I think a part of it is due to the restrictions I have in this internship, I'm not allowed to give anything into the body such as giving medications or starting and giving IV's, so I'm already not in the "in's" of things to begin with. I do ask a lot of questions and find out about the new orders and what's going through the charts, but most of the time I'd find out later.

However, today was different because we had a situation early in day where my preceptor wasn't available to care for our assigned patients, and the nurses, with whom our patients were divided amongst, weren't familiar with the kids. But I was. I had been taking care of them since Friday, and I was able to give the nurses reports on their conditions. Today, instead of working with one preceptor, I worked with 3 different nurses. And since we were short staffed, I was mainly the middle person between the patients and their new nurses.

The nurses I worked with were great, they trusted that I knew the patients and family well enough they listened to me when I told them about the kids' conditions, or asked questions that the family wanted to know, or alerted them about any changes I noticed, and they relayed my assessment to the doctors. They notified me about a new diagnosis of one of my kid and the plan of care the doctors had set. One of them even had me to talk to the doctor and sent me in with him when he went to re-assess the kid while she went to care for another patient. I really felt like I was a part of the team and I'm not shy to say that I was able to step up to the plate and did a good job helping the short-staffed unit today, and boy, that feels good.

It was a really good day today. Now, after working all weekend--three 12.5 hours shift in a row, I am ready to spend Monday sleeping and not thinking of "Damn, that's a whole lotta diapers to weigh and dip...," or "Shit, another fever," or "Alright, P in room 42 needs a stool softener," or means of distraction to get a picky kid to eat so they can go home.

The name of the game.

With Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban naming their new daughter Sunday Rose (I mean, really, Sunday?!), it got me thinking about the names of the kids I've seen on the floor thus far. There have been some interesting ones, with out of the ballpark spelling of course, but none has really been a...you know, "Apple?!!" *headdesks* "Joseph Jagger Blue?! On a girl??!!!" *headdesks* kinda thing. That is until Monday morning when I encounter a set of siblings on the floor.

Obviously, I can't say the names, but let's just say that one of them was intended to sound like "The One", as in here's my kid, they're "The One". The one for what I don't know, the one you want to watch out for, the one that will cry the loudest, the one...well, it was a *headdesks* moment nonetheless. Then, I found out about Nicole and Keith's Sunday later in the day. My head hurt a lot that Monday.

Anyway, 4th of July was made of all kind of wins. I went to a rooftop party out in Brooklyn where we can see the famous New York fireworks. It was lovely. I hope everyone's 4th was wonderful as well!

The one where I wandered around the Cith by myself part 12534526342.

I've been walking around the City by myself on my day offs so far, just because the people I know here work everyday unlike me who only work a select 3 days. So off I go on my own adventure, exploring neighborhood by neighborhood, discovering places to eat and have desserts, all on my own. It's a love/hate relationship. On one hand, I'd love to have a company, but on the other hand I'm not sure I'll feel as free as I do when I'm on my own.

But anyway, that's not the point. The point is today I went to East Village, went into this vintage store, and fell in love with a pair of black pointy toed Marc Jacobs flats. It's simple, yet oh so comfortable and all kind of pretty--not to mention I have been looking for a pair of comfortable pointy toed black flats. It was love at first sight. But it also requires my selling a toe or thumb in order to afford said flats, 'cuz ya know, Student Nurse Intern + living in New York = poorer than a Student Nurse living in Texas. It's a tragedy.

In the end, I managed to muster up more self control than I thought I had. I begrudgingly take the right shoe that I tried on off my foot, stepped away from it, and out the door I went. My bestfriend E said, "Sleep on it tonight and see if you still want them tomorrow." To which I'm thinking, "Damn hell, I will still want them tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...."

Anyhow, that's about the shoes. Another thing is, lately I've been approached by people asking me directions. Twice today to be specific. And I actually knew the answers! Hah! Like "Broadway? Suuuree, that way," "Washington Square Park? Two block downs this way," "The hospital? Keep straight until Madison then turn right until xxth street."

Okay, maaaaybe the hospital thing doesn't count because I was wearing scrubs, so it was like I had a bright yellow neon light pointing at me "I'm a hospital employee! Ask me direction to it!" But other than that? That means I don't look like a tourist or a newbie anymore, with a subway map in hand, standing on a curb mulling with myself to jaywalk like everybody else or wait until the light allows you to (in which the conversation in my head between me and my adapting to the New Yorkers' way of life Self goes as follow,

Me: Go? No, no go.
Self: Everybody else is go.
Me: What if a car comes? I still need to survive, you know.
Self: But everybody else is GO! There is no car!
Me: What if there is a cop? You could get fined in Texas for jaywalking.
Self: Well, are you in Texas right now?!
Me: No...
Self: Exactly, now GO!!!!
Me: Alright, alright, I'll go I'll go....

There are many a conversation as this when I'm out by myself on the New York streets. And no, the other convos need not to be mention here).

Speaking of tourist, I was checking out Patricia Field's store (she is the costume director of Sex and the City for those who don't know) today and saw this almost replica of one of the dress Sarah Jessica parker wore in the movie. Then this tourist came by with a Sex and the City picture book or something alike (I didn't know there is such a thing as this memorabilia SATC book! Huh, something new to learn each day, eh?), and asked the salesperson--while pointing at a page in the book, which I'm assuming a picture of SJP wearing said similar dress--"This is the dress?" Of course, the salesperson--complete with a sigh and subtle eye roll--explained that no, the dress in the movie is a vintage find and the store only made a similar ones based on it. And so the tourist went away with such disappointed face I kinda wanted to laugh....

So that was my Tuesday of walking around the City.

You know, I had never been afraid of clown when I was a kid, but after seeing the clowns that come to the Peds building? Now I understand why some kids scream bloody murder when they see one.

Clowns are not funny! They wear crazy clothes, they put on ghost white powder on their face, bright red blood lipstick, and dark gravely eye shadow, they put pillow or something on their butt to make it protrude like they're backwardly pregnant
(which becomes a problem when the nurses are trying to get from one patient to another and the clown's humongous behind is blocking half of the hallway), their shoes are too big, and so do their smiles (they're too chipper!). What the hell, they are creepy!!! I don't like them clowns. Why I wasn't afraid of them as a kid remains a mystery, especially considering that one of my older brothers once chased me around the house wearing a rubber clown mask with a bread knife when I was about 8 or something. I'm not kidding, he really did that.

I now cringe whenever those clowns come around the corner. To the kids, I want to say to them "Scream away, kiddos, keep those people in ruffles and giant shoes away from you!"

Anyway, other than the clowns, the internship has been good. I get more busy and learn new things each time I come in. Tomorrow will be the first time all the interns will get together after we saw each other last three weeks ago, so it will be interesting to hear about how everyone's experience has been. They will hear about the clowns more than likely.

Defintely not in Texas anymore....

So New York had a heatwave this past weekend and oh how I miss the central AC at my house in Texas. It was so freaking HOT!

Anyway, I had my first 12 hours shift on the floor, and boy was it an eye opener. I can't help but comparing it to the the last hospital where I had my clinical last semester. Perhaps, it's not a fair comparison considering the obvious difference in that my internship is on a Peds floor while the clinical was on an Adult floor, as well as the difference in acuity. Obviously, I can't talk much about these differences due to privacy purposes, so I'm just going to leave it at "It's different."

I've heard about the Peds floor, about how difficult is it for first timer to remember all the baselines for the different ages and to deal with family members on top of the patients. So much can happen in those 12 hours, really. Another new thing that I have to take in is seeing all of those sick children, realizing that, unfortunately, it is real that they are that sick, that they have to go through so much in one day.

And with hailing from Texas and interning in New York comes the inevitable question of "So, are you going to move to New York?", to which I answer "I have a year to think about it." I really do. I love living here in New York, there is that desire to move but of course, there are a lot of other things to be thoroughly considered. We'll see. Stay tune for a year and we'll find out. For now I'm just enjoying the experience while it lasts.

Oh, you know what I saw while walking home from the subway? An ad that says McDonald sells sweet tea! Huzzah!

List.

There is much to be told since the last post, so I'm going to make a list. My brain is a little scattered so this is in no particular order.

1. I've been in orientation all this week from 0800-1630 and next Monday is the last day.

2. Orientation SUCKS.

3. There were lectures of things we've already learned in school such as infection control and pressure ulcer, yadda yadda yadda....

4. It is so boring I had to force myself to drink coffee this morning to keep me awake. Coffee does not make me happy....

5. Oh and we practiced blood draw on fake arms, then they told us we're going to be checked off drawing blood on EACH OTHER.

6. WTH?! I thought we are well past the days of poking fellow students with needles! Heh.

6. Speaking of needles, I've been stuck with needles more time than I would like ever since I arrived in New York: One blood draw from employee service, one blood draw from the check off, and one shot from employee service.

7. Being stuck by needles does not make me happy either.

8. Wednesday has been the most interesting orientation day thus far.

9. I mean, they took us down to the morgue for crying out loud!

10. So of course I saw a dead body being pulled out of the refrigerator and caught a glimpse of an autopsy.

11. Then we went back to the skill lab and drew blood on each other.

12. I thank my new friend J for offering his arm. He is very gentleman-ly like that.

13. J has many a gorgeous vein that I was successful on first try.

14. Also, if you stick a needle in a person and see no flashback in the butterfly, do not--I repeat--DO NOT wiggle the needle trying to get into the person's vein!!!! It hurts, dammit!

15. I received a crash course on Jewish traditions (due to the large population at the hospital), which was interesting because I've never had this situation in Texas.

16. I miss Chick-fill-a and its sweet tea. And chicken fried steak with mash 'tatoes and biscuit.

17. I do not miss my car and driving.

18. I walk a lot here. A LOT.

19. My roommate's cats shed like there is no tomorrow.

20. Hence, the lint roller has become my new bestfriend.

21. I got a laptop. FINALLY.

22. So stay tune for more stories.

Toodles!

So, this is New York, eh?

My first week in New York has been good. I had nothing to do except having to go to the hospital to get health paperworks done--an x-ray and blood draw while we were at it--and I was done. After that day I sat in the apartment thinking oookkaaay, what do I do now? I am not used to having all of this free time on my hands (see a few posts below), and it's like, I have no purpose in life, someone, help me! And let it be said that with free time comes spending money. A lot of money. 'Tis no good.... Need. to. stop. shopping. now.

So living arrangement wise, I'm getting used to it and liking it more and more each day. I live outside of Manhattan with a roommate, who has very kindly welcomed me into her cool apartment in a building with no elevator (*sighs*), who has two cats who are adorable and fluffy and cuddly and can be very weird a lot of times. I've lived with a roommate before, back when I went to Baylor University for a short while, but I've known said roommate before (we're good friends from high school). This time, it's a completely unknown person to me, a friend of an acquaintance, who I've only heard good things about. So this is something new--along with a lot of other new things I have to adapt to, but it's working out well. The roomie is super nice, and I like nice people, yes, I do.

Orientation for the internship starts bright and early on Monday at 8 am. Heh. 8 am is way to early for my brain to function, we'll see how that goes.... I'm getting anxious, wondering if I remember what they taught us in school. All kind of things are running through my head now that orientation is a few days away and actual work (on the Peds floor) is a week away. Do I remember how to take vitals manually? What are the baseline for pediatrics? Do I remember how to assess and know what to look for? Do I remember how to start IV? Draw blood? Give injections? Hang IV's? Holy crap, I am going to make a fool of myself aplenty! They're going to ship me back to Texas!!!

Wish me luck, I have a feeling this is going to be a very interesting 10 weeks. Very interesting....

I already don't like the taxi drivers....

I have arrived in New York City, where I'm doing this summer externship. I arrived safe and sound, with no missing suitcases. I have to say, you gotta love on time flights and speeding pilots. I arrived 30 minutes ahead of schedule, yeah!

So I took the taxi to my friend's apartment because she doesn't have a car and we figure, well, her place is close to the airport anyway (10-15 minutes), hence, it wouldn't be much a problem. However, it became a problem when the taxi driver had no clue where he was going. As a result, what was supposed to be a 12-15 dollars ride ended up to be a 25 dollars ride. Thankfully, I had exactly 29 dollars in my wallet, to which I gave all to him. I still had no idea if I gave him too much or too little tip. If I'm going by how much I tip at restaurants, which is 20%, the tip should be 5 dollars. But then again, I'm on the pissy side because we got lost and the fare was double what it should be, so I was like oh well, buddy, you kinda deserve less than a dollar. But then again I felt bad because I had two suitcases he had to put in and out of the trunk. And it's not like I had a choice on how much to give, because 29 is all I had.

How much do you tip taxi drivers anyway? What's the rule of thumb? What happened if the driver got you lost?

I'm sticking to the subway for the remainder of my time here.