The play.

Act I of "The Senior Year" is almost done. The curtain is ready to close the stage for a 6 weeks intermission. The final number of Act I start tomorrow, and it's called "The Final Exam". I am one already tired and cranky participant of this production, and I can't wait to prop my feet up on the couch in my dressing room during intermission.

I'm envisioning how glorious Wednesday after 3 pm will be as we finish this Act. We'll finish "The Final Exam" and the curtain will draw close, and we are done. Oh, how the sky will open up, revealing a chorus of angels singing a melodious song of freedom. Oh, sweet sweet freedom, I can taste it. I'm ready for it. I can't wait for it. I want it. I need it.

Just three more days. Three more days of being stuck with textbooks and staring at notes after notes. Three more days until I can sweep those books and notes off my bed and crash until however long my body desires. Three more days until I can sleep in, instead of waking up at an ungodly hour of the morning to start all over again the routine with the books and notes. Three more days until I don't have to worry about what to study the next day.

Just three more days until the 6 weeks intermission will start before the curtain will open again for Act II of "The Senior Year". I'm not going to pass out on the stage just yet. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. Just three more days....

Fetal demise, PIH C-section, late decels all in one night.

Last night was all kind of things mixed into one. I mean, damn, was it a full moon or something?!

Before I ramble on, you might wanna stop reading if you're squeamish.

So, it started off slow, my patient was 5 cm when I came in and stable. After a few hours with her, I ventured around the corner to where my two group mates were, and that's when I saw something odd in the basinet next to the baby warmer across from us. It was a bunched bloody blanket and I saw a surface of red flesh and I thought it as a placenta and wondering why would they wrapped a placenta and put it in the basinet?

My friends spotted the same thing and all three of us went to take a closer look, and that was when the nurses told us that earlier that evening a 24 weeks mom had come in saying she hasn't felt the baby moved in a week. Sure enough, it was a fetal demise, and she was induced to give birth to a stillborn baby.

I will never forget what I saw last night, I don't think I will ever that image of the nurse unwrapping the blanket to reveal the red glob of fetus beneath it out of my mind. Judging by the appearance of the fetus: red, floppy with no apparent bone structure (it looked like a red blob of Jell-o or a red water balloon), underdeveloped features, and peeling of the skin, they were thinking it died due to chromosomal abnormalities and that it had died a week or more before the mom came in last night. As I went back to my patient's room, I caught a glimpse to the stillborn's mother's room, where silent grief enveloped the family that had gathered there. I said a prayer for them.

My patient, in the meanwhile, was progressing slowly, only going from 5 cm to 6 cm, so the doctor order the Pitocin to speed it up. Sure enough, minutes later late decels started showing up on the monitor and it was a "Holy crap! Is that what they meant when they talked about that in class?!!" moment for me. We turned the mom to the sides, put her on O2, and turned the pit off.

It's funny because in class, my instructor taught us a song to help us remember what to do when decels happen, and that exactly what was done last night. I'm still getting used to the feeling when things I've studied in the textbook happen in front of my eyes, it's like "HEEEEYYY!!!", the dots connected, light bulb goes on, whatever.

Mother and baby were okay after that, and nearing the end of my shift, my instructor came around telling us that she was going to sneak us into a C-section in a few minutes after they got the mother settled down and ready to go. The mom was 32 weeks along with PIH and overweight, which is not a good combination for the surgeons and the anesthesiologists.

They started and not long after that the patient started moaning and you can see everyone was alarmed, but the anesthesia team reassured that she was just feeling uncomfortable from the tugging and retracting they surgeons were doing to try to locate the uterus. As they cut through more layers of fat, the patient started groaning and it got louder and louder.

My friends and I looked at each other wide eyed, thinking "What in the world?!!", then we saw the surgical tech and my instructors rolling their eyes and giving each other "What the hell are they doing?!!!" It was bizarre to see someone with their abdomen open and blood flowing out and hearing them making noises that indicate that she is obviously in PAIN!

All this time, the surgeons continued to try to get to the baby as fast as they could, and the anesthesia team announced to the room whatever everything they cannot do because she was so large and hypertensive with low platelets therefore the pending complications, and I was just screaming in my head "DO SOMETHING, SHE IS IN PAIN!!!!"

They finally got the baby out after a series of groaning from the mom, who was still groaning as they sew the uterus. The baby needed intubation and some helped to breath, but the NICU team finally go the baby to cry, so that was good. We left right after that and didn't see the rest of that procedure.

I had no idea why the anesthesia didn't seem to work completely and why the team couldn't get it right. I knew the mother posts a series of complications but it doesn't mean you would just let her feel the pain of her surgery. Uncomfortable? Okay. Pressure? Okay. Pain? Oh hell no! That's not right, but unfortunately, it happens.

So that was my night on the OB floor yesterday. It was a night to remember for sure.

Unstructured.

I moved back from the Aunt's house to the Grands' house (they're like 2 blocks away) just before New Year. Two months later, my room still looks like this:

Obviously, I need a new desk and shelf....

Find me in the room with a lot of dummies.

If you need me between January 14th - January 25th you can find me at school, most likely either poking on the mother dummies or dangling the baby dummies. Oh, and if I don't look like my usual--and currently very well rested--self, that's because my schedule for Women's Health says I have to be in the skill lab every single freaken' day for the first two weeks of school. From 8-4 pm more or less. Surrounded by dummies, some of which are talking--or crying.

I'm working on being ready for this.

In the meanwhile, I'm also crossing my fingers and toes to get my first choice for clinicals. Please please please please please let me get the Wednesday/Thursday ones....

OH! Gah, I hate my status as an International student. Hatehate. First, they still wouldn't consider me as state resident even though I've lived here for eight years and have been paying taxes. I'm still bitter about paying the international rate tuition, which is doubles in-state tuition. BITTER, I tell ya. You better bet I'm praying really hard I get the loan I very much need to pay for school. But that's another day.

Today, I found out that I may have to drop one of my online classes because as an International student, I cannot take 2 online classes in one semester. One of those online courses has to have some kind of on-campus activity such as group meeting, or face-to face time with the instructor, or taking the tests on campus, and my instructor has to fill out a form. Of course with my luck, none of the instructors was on campus today and neither was my adviser and neither was the director of the program. ashgdahsfdaghdfaghfdghafdghfd!!!!!

It's not like I purposely chose to take those online classes, they're designed that way by the program and I have to pass both before I could continue to Senior I. Granted, they might, MIGHT, offer those in the summer but even if they do, my space there isn't guaranteed. Blaaaaarrrrrghhhhh!!!!! Right now I'm waiting for an answer from the Student Life lady on campus, who's heard that perhaps if I've already met the minimum credit hours required to maintain my status (12 hrs/semester and my courses for this semester are 16 hrs.), then an additional online classes is allowed. So yeah, now I'm just waiting, but come Thursday and Friday at the new students orientations I'm volunteering at, I'll be chasing the power that be people (namely my adviser or the head of the program) to help me fix this.

And it rained as I got out of the grocery store today. It's just like that Carpenters song, the one that goes "rainy days and Mondays always get me down...." Well, today it is Monday and rainy. Bah humbug....

Productive

Oh, look who's being productive today:

1. Loan application - check. Okay, almost check because the stupid security system locked me out when I was thisclose to finishing. Bah! Now I have to call them on Monday....

2. Preliminary online applications two 2 internship programs - check.

3. Letters of recommendation request to two faculties - check.

4. Look up required textbooks - check.

5. Order required textbooks - check. I cringed at the cost....

6. Find out my schedule - check.

7. Choose 1st, 2nd, and 3rd choices for clinical days - check.

I still have agibizziliion things to do this coming week in preparation for the upcoming semester. I am excited and nervous at the same time, though it's a different kind of excitement and fear than that when I was about to start my first semester. This time, it's more...excited for what is more and scared because I know it will be harder and busier and more than likely more chaotic. Oh, and getting back to the swing of things after a month of vacation isn't exactly easy. A month of time off have rendered me quite lazy and useless, hah! Not complaining though, it was good to relax and veg, vegging is necessary every once in a while, I promote the vegging.

Now it's time to get this ride back on the road again, and as a result I have signed up to volunteer at the new students orientations. Yes, i know I've mentioned I did that already, but my school holds this series of orientations every semester, it's a bit too much but hey, anything to help out the new kids, right?

So that's that. New year is here and I'm gearing up for the new semester. There is a lot of exciting things that I'm working on happening this year, so I'm hopeful. For now, I'm going to rummage to the fridge for food. Food is good.

Study Habits: Which One are You?

This was brought up to me while reviewing cramming for test #2 with a bunch of study buddies. We discussed our own study habits and those that we have heard of others doing, it is quite interesting and amusing.

Strategy wise:

The note cards makers--The ones who make a stack of super near note cards and study them like it's a treasure map. You can also count on these cards being carried around like crack on Pete Doherty, they are available for study purposes anytime anywhere. Lining up for hours to get Deathly Hallows at the bookstore? No problemo! The note cards makers will whip out them note cards from their jeans pocket and study!

The lectures listeners--The ones who listen to recorded lectures agibizillion times. Remember that episode of Friends when Joey listens to that tape religiously even in his sleep? Yeah, it's like that. Expect their iPod to be filled with "Neoplasm-Dr. M 6/26/07", "Asthma-Dr. M 7/3/07", and "Stroke-Dr. M 6/12/07".

The lectures transcriptors--The lectures listeners can turn in these, which are the ones who write down every single word the professor said on the lecture. Every. Single. Word. I didn't think this type exists, but I have seen the notebook with the lecture transcript with my own eyes. I was rather baffled by it....

The notesers--The ones who study almost everything from their notes and their notes only. Textbook is deemed to make one even more confused. It is not the Bible, it shall be used only as a reference.

The textbookers--The opposite of the above. They study textbook as religiously as--if not more than--their notes. Back problem can surface from carrying those big-assed textbooks in their backpack everywhere with them.

Place wise:

The library goers--The ones who make a pilgrimage to the library and set up his/her own little camp in the quietest and dustiest corner of said library, by camp I mean sleeping bag and alarm clock--coffee thermos and air freshener are sometimes included. They have the ability to sit at one place with their books for long hours. Some of them are known to give you death glares if God forbid you drop a pen and its clinking bursts their hardcore studying. They strictly abide by the silence is golden motto.

The people watchers--The ones who study at the park or by the window of a coffee shop so every ten minutes they can look up and be distracted. The people minding their own business and definitely not studying motivate these people watchers. "Just wait until next week when I'm done with this test, I will be free to join you non-studying people! One more week, dammit!"

The bookstorers--The ones who go to Barnes & Nobles or Borders with the intention to study but make a detour to the magazines or newly arrived section. Reading anything but the study materials is like a warm up before the real thing, but sometimes the bookstore-rers would lose their self control and say "Oh screw studying, Lindsay Lohan is crashing another car and Britney Spears is flashing her hoo-ha and Paris Hilton is going to jail and jebus did i read that right? Nicole Richie is pregant, yo!"

The homies--Those who don't go to the library or bookstore or coffee shop to study. They are only an arm reach of one's own computer and iTunes and food and TV, all are distractive in nature but oh so hard to let go. The idea of studying somewhere bereft of the comfort of their own home is terrifying. "What if someone sends me a mighty important email and I need to reply ASAP otherwise someone will...die or something? What if Oprah's camera crew shows up with a car for me??!! And there I was studying at Barnes freaken Nobles, do you understand how suck that would be?! Huh, huh huh?!!!"

----

Strategy wise, I am a noteser. I do use the textbook don't get my wrong but just for a review before or after a the lecture and as a reference to add things to my notes when I feel like I miss something my professor says in class. When it comes to study for the test, it is my notes that I study the most, I rarely study both notes and textbook in the week leading up to a test.

I think the transcripting thing is just crazy and not a good way to study. The one who did this was actually the one who brought up the discussion because he has been frustrated with this method--duh!--and needed an advice on how to study better.

I tried the bookstore thing, didn't work to well for me. I got sucked in with the magazines and new novels and my study plan went to a deep dark abyss real fast. I have a short attention span when it comes to studying, and this is why I am not a note cards maker and the library goer. I don't have the patience to make note cards and I cannot stand sitting long hours straight in one place just staring at my notes. I need distractions, therefore, I am a homie. Ahoy!

I am quite reluctant to study outside my home because it is a task that requires more than just a couple of hours, hence the need to be surrounded by things I know and am comfortable with. I want to go use the bathroom without having to bring all my stuff along with me or worry about someone's stealing my stuff if I leave them at a library/bookstore/coffee shop. I need to have music playing when I study, music that I actually like, not the overly played songs from the radio. I need to be able to lean back and feel the plushy couch, not a hard wooden chair.

I could not would not stand studying in the library. Bookstores are too much of a temptation. A cafe or a park I could do, though not my first choice. Home does it for me, I guess there really is no place like home. Hee!